“Very few legs to stand on”?
So you didn’t read the Bat’Leth safety manual?
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I was too busy learning to flip a balisong. 
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“Flip a balisong”
Racist!!!
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Eeewww, I looked up that G.I. Tanto thing and it’s ridiculous. At least for yard work. Just get a cheap machete, the most useful of the larger yard maintenance weapons. Make sure it’s a traditional long one, not a short blade, so that unlike the Tanto the most damage you can do to yourself is hitting your legs with a swing and not your torso. Might be good for slicing large barbecue also…
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You don’t understand. That thing is the Big Mouth Billy Bass of the knife-nerd world. Also use-wise there’s an aspect that stems from the effect the “bushcrafting” cult has had on knife design. Too long a story to go into. Slicing meat with a machete is not a thing.
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Thanks! All done over the governor’s legislative veto, I assume.
Searching for straws, I know… but so long as the AG doesn’t need legislative approval to initiate a legal action, the AG can go into court to get an injunction against these Republican vigilante “election investigators.”
I know… always easier said then done. But Democratic officeholders, from Biden on down, need to take a swallow from the cup of courage and start treating these people like the enemies they are, not some romanticized and fictionalized “loyal opposition” that is a relic of my high school civics books of 60 years ago.
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Don’t get me started on the “bushcrafting” cult. 
I spent a few years in my youth shooting photos for nature books in the wilds of Central and South America. The guides were these wizened old geezers who could out-walk and out-climb me in my 20’s.
They handled a machete like it was just a biological extension of their arm, clearing trail and making rough shelters. Scared the shit out of me when I first saw how they used a machete to open a coconut held in their other hand. Those bushcraft nerds should spend a little time in the actual bush.
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Haha don’t get me started either. I mean, they’re having fun, it’s no harm to me and all, but I just don’t think it makes a ton of sense. OK, they’re harming knife design though, in that it’s getting tough to find an outdoors knife that isn’t a great slab of metal because as soon as they see a knife they grab it and start beating on it with one tree limb so as to split another tree limb. Horace Kephart used a hatchet, morons! So did the Sami*, the voyageurs, and the mountain men! Idiots.
I’d have enjoyed seeing those machete guys handle themselves in the bush that way. Very cool.
*Strictly speaking the Sami nomads had a large knife for chopping wood and a smaller knife for cutting things. They weren’t trying to use one knife for everything, is the point.
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Apparently the womenfolk have the largest penises in this klan.
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The school personnel may have focused on the danger that Crumbly may have faced from abusive parents rather than the danger he posed to other students.
I don’t think that’s terribly persuasive, but I have observed plenty of occasions when someone has hesitated rather than take swift action against an obvious jerk, concocting ever more absurd scenarios where the perpetrator is the one in need of help. It seems to be a particular problem for people for whom “being nice” is a core part of their self image.
The people in the office may have fallen in to the trap of wanting to be seen as helpers and not quite known what to do with a kid who desperately wants help but also wants to fight against it every step of the way. And of course manipulative jerks can spot these types a mile off and know exactly what buttons to push to get them to tie themselves in knots rather than take action.
Edit: reworded for clarity
It’s probably wise not to use the same tool to prepare food as is used to clear, say, poison ivy vines.
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True dat. But also a machete is mostly an impact tool, not a slicing tool, and the cross-section of the blade, its “geometry,” as they say, means that if you’re optimized to be one you won’t be much use for the other.
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I’ve been served fresh coconut sliced in half by a machete. I guess the trick is to make sure it’s not the first one in the batch.
Impact tool? Not the ones I’ve used, or seen used south of the border. They’re thin steel, used with quick little slicing cuts to clear vegetation blocking the trail, or else harder cuts for something like opening a coconut. Very very sharp and well-maintained.
Not a thick beveled edge like a hatchet, although I know some things marketed as “machetes” are like that in the USA. Usually shorter than a classic design because they’re thicker steel and would be too heavy at that length. Those designs probably reflect the more woody vegetation in the temperate zone. Most of the stuff in the tropics is fairly soft except for the larger trees. And coconuts.
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Maybe they used the spine on the coconuts. I don’t know much about machetes, but it would make sense to have different styles for different purposes like any other tool. My own yard has a mix of stuff and some of it is highly poisonous and I don’t know which it is. 
Nah, you use the sharp edge. This guy is just milking them but it’s a similar technique if you want to cut off the husk and get to the meat.
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So it seems not to have the woody outer layer at that point. Interesting.
Okay, that would be funny.
California CSLB Lic. No. 00000001
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Or maybe a few chapters later in the narrative.
Specifically, the Massacre of the Innocents.
Today’s GOP: the party of Herod.
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Unwritten here is that you can’t get married until the church says it’s okay; they love to leverage human’s instincts against them. If you start enjoying sex before you’re married, it upsets their whole racket. And if you insist on making something natural verboten, you end up with the Duggars.
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Is this money all coming from the investing equivalent of Canadian girlfriends?
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