Discussion: Trump In Hog Heaven Over Unsourced National Enquirer Claim Of Cruz Affairs

God, he is such a dog!

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Donald Trump:

Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz.

Someday, that sentence will hold a place of honor in the OED as an example for the definition of insincere.

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“I have nothing to do with the National Enquirer and unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence,”

Now that is fucking rich coming from Drumpf.

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is this one of those ‘when you lie in the mud with hogs’ kinda deals?

aren’t the hogs embarrassed?

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Trump certainly was not the one who contacted the Enquirer - he has lackies for that kind of work - but this has his signature all over it.

But I’d caution Mr. GlassHouse to be careful with his stone throwing!

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Soon political reporters will have to breathe oxygen from a tank and wear full body rubbers…

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I trust family and friends of Reince Priebus have cleared his residence of sharp objects, firearms, antifreeze, shoe laces, belts and plastic bags.

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Brussels was attacked.

A suicide bomber killed many in Iraq.

The US special ops raid killed ISIS #2.

Trump and Cruz are fighting over the wives’ appearances and a tabloid gossip article.

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ThaNKS TO LIBtards AND THE GAY aND HOW ALL the HOMOs sHOVE tHEir sEX dOWN OUr throaTS rather THAN NORmaL PEOPle WHo KEEP it TO Themselves AND Aren’t MINCING Around IN assless LEATHER chaPS ANd MOUStaches OUR AMERica HAS BEEN Coarsened. IF PATRIOTs were IN CHARGE instead of OHBUMMer we woULDN"T even BE HAVING this CONVErsation!11!!!one!!!1!!!

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You mean tRump has been whoring around again?? Every major publication covered his open affair with Marla Maples before she became wife #2. That’s the fuuny thing about tRump, he acts like he’s never done any dirt.

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Well, the man is a pig.

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That’s why they call it “Cruz control.”

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He doesn’t deny his dirt, it’s just that his is displayed on a brass & glass étagère in the grand entryway, so it’s special.

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Cuban mistress crisis?

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I’ve actually read recently right here in TPM that Trump has invented fake spokespeople he portrayed to deal with the press if he wanted to stall or whatever, and his father did too. And he’s known to have picked up the phone and planted false stories about celebrities buying condos from him and so forth. He seems to have literally no regard for objective truth; it’s like he’s only vaguely aware such a thing exists.

ETA: Slate’s reporting that believe it or not, there seems to be a pattern of the Enquirer breathlessly attacking Trump’s rivals and giving him tongue baths. He’s friends with the Enquirer’s CEO, btw. And this is just one day in America. Interesting times.

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Arrrgh, Donald, you’re slipping! Here’s the correct response:

While I disagree with Lyin’ Ted Cruz about many things, I deplore the false, dirty story in the National Enquirer alleging that Ted Cruz has had many affairs. We all know this is not true as nobody would fuck Ted Cruz.

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Lyin’ Ted is so oversexed his semen balls up out of his mouth during debates.

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The Concern Troll trolleth

“Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz.”

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This is what it would look like if 4chan were a presidential campaign.

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