Discussion: This Parody Perfectly Nails Every Jade Helm Conspiracy Theory Video

Discussion for article #238436

Why would we want to take over Texas? We’d be better off if we asked the liberals in the state to move and then cut it loose to be its own country.

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He sold me! I’m gonna get me a gun.

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The accent is wonderful. It sounds like every major kookfart south of the Mason-Dixon line.

“You DO NOT want to be here when Jesus comes!”

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I LOVED this! It was true perfection, one of those Colbert-esque parodies that’s almost a little too real. Bravo, sir!
“black tarps on a feynce, black tarps on a feynce!”

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Congratulations Sir! You killed it and didn’t even break a smile. A+ for perfect sarcasm and parody!

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One of the unexpected bonuses of living in a somewhat conservative area is breakfast. You get to sit at a table where a guy who probably had to wait till age 22 before he was kissed by a woman he wasn’t related to, ‘mansplain’ rape to his daughters. It’s freakin’ priceless and sounds like Martin here only without the accent.

'Black tarps on a FAYNCE!!!"

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Of course he missed that it’s “Sam’s Club” HELLo! As in Uncle Sam’s Club, as in Big Brother, as in Walmart was the cheap version diversion.
Criminy, this plot has been unfolding under our noses for years and it’s fricking sinister. I joined Sam’s because 'I Wanted Them" at least that is what they ‘made’ me think. I’m in on it without being in on it or even knowing what it is. Diabolical, insidious, criminally genius in it’s simplicity and hugely seeming nothingness.

Sam’s is basically a survivalist clearance outlet for the unprepared while also simultaneously being a government staging point for incoming stuff that just keeps coming in. I don’t know what ordinance is but this is inordinate. Sam’s is a commissary that sells sedation before sedition, It lulls then activates yearly, yearly! Think about that.

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The tentacles of the Hanseatic League are everywhere!!!

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If Martin could just film some of the Wal-mart people INSIDE the building, I would be convinced that the Apocalypse had come:

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The vertical video was the icing on the cake.

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“He sold me! I’m gonna get me a gun.”

No. No. No. “I’m gonna get me ANOTHER gun.” An automatic weapon. Jeez Louise: How’m I gonna defend my family without an automatic weapon when Fuhrer Obama’s Stormtroopers(the Army!) come marching down our little lane after my guns.

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I agree…why Texas…although there are parts of it that are quite beautiful. But why can’t we get out act right? Afghanistan? Iraq? Why do we always go for the armpits of the world? What about Lanzarote or Ibiza? I never understood why we didn’t go for Cuba or Costa Rica. For shit’s sake America…next time grab a piece of paradise.

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They tried that back in 1836.
They went Bankrupt and pleaded with the U.S. to let them join as a Slave-Owning State 'cause they were White Christians.
The US agreed and then Texas promptly joined the Confederacy.

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Clicked to see the parody, got nothing but another genuine Jade Helm conspiracy kook.

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Which is why we should go ahead and cut them loose finally.

Are you SURE it’s a parody?

What’s so mind-numbingly frustrating is that as soon as this is finished and there is no communist/socialist/Russian/Islamic takeover of the South/Southwest, then they will say "We did it! Our coverage of the conspiracy worked and we’ve thwarted the evil bastards!

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We laugh, but this guy in parody does a pretty good job of representing a shocking amount of people in this country. And not just in Texas.

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It’s pretty damned accurate. However, I’d argue that the lack of a black t-shirt featuring a white silhouette of an AR-15 gives it away.

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