Discussion: This Parody Perfectly Nails Every Jade Helm Conspiracy Theory Video

As someone with longtime Hanseatic roots (Hansestadt Hamburg/HH/HummelHummel) I can finally feel that my forefathers plans are FINALLY coming to fruition… WOOOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

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and that is the genius of Colbert-style parody. :smiley:

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In my border state there are billboards along rural country roads that basically have these words on them.

If he lives in San Angelo, the accent is likely genuine.

His wife/girlfriend is cracking up next to him…its a parody.

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That’s how the best conspiracies operate. If they don’t come true its either proof that they were discovered and had to alter their nefarious plans, or proof that its way bigger than originally thought an it was merely a false flag operation so we have to dig even deeper.

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Are you for real?

Although his daughter (I presume) in the background is having a hard time keeping it together.

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I have a very dear friend who has lived in Texas most her life and in most of the big cities, but now she’s in this red crazy town near Dallas, and she’s considered by the local RWNs to be “a good liberal.” We are simpatico on most everything except the death penalty which she thinks is the ideal revenge.

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He forgot to warn everyone that part of the whole deal is to forcibly shove a gay down their throats. I, for one, am not taking part of this exercise as I don’t want to give some religious gun freak, science-denying, chronically short on critical thinking, possibly ugly asshole the pleasure of … me.

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I particularly liked the passenger who couldn’t even look at the camera because she was trying so hard not to bust out laughing.

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I am already having fun with this on facebook. I posted it to my page and one of my friends thought it was real, another who lives in San Angelo Texas recognized it was a parody but joined in with a live report. He hasn’t seen any Obummer Ninjas yet, but he is packing his bag. He promises to give reports until they take his phone away. You can have a lot of fun if you have right wing friends. I am thinking about posting reports concerning the American Hummers driving into and taking over of Fort Hood and other US military installations in Texas. If done right it would be a different report every hour with US military bases falling to the US Military one after another. No shots fired.

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Hey, Texas cracas! This video will show just how effective your little guns will be when the government comes after you. Happy Jade Helm 15! (there won’t be a 16)…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUHCsN5nCq4

It’s real. It’s real!! IT’S FREAKIN REAL!!!

The guy in the video may have thought it was all in fun, but he was too busy driving and talking and filming to notice what I noticed – faint laser flashes reflected off his eyeglasses.

I had to use my spectral analyzer to be sure, but it confirmed the shocking truth. The guy was being tracked and recorded! There’s no doubt that it was a drone-based laser, because they could use audio pickups if they were recording him from the ground. The laser is picking up the vibrations that soundwaves create on the lenses of his glasses. Those vibrations are readily translated back into audio in real time, so the drone operator can tag any conversations for later intelligence analysis. When Jade Helm enters full operation, the operators will direct field teams in real time, based on what the audio reveals.

And, yes, I am certain that the flashes weren’t just from some eager pet owner trying out his laser cat toy on the way from the store to his car. If this was a commercial Class 3a device, like those used in pointers and pet toys, it would operate at 690nm wavelengths or less, where the human eye will sense the light well enough to allow use of a low-power laser. My analyzer showed that this laser was operating at 740 ±20nm, a modification that ensures that the beam would go unnoticed by the target in daylight. If you have ever tried to add nm to the wavelength of a laser yourself, you know that what was done in this case required industrial equipment at the least and possibly even classified equipment.

Be sure to pass this info on in your Facebook feed. Bless you for what you are doing.

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That’s the best the Government can do? Sam’s Club? The could invade a CostCo…they have nicer stuff.

He’s wrong there. I’m pretty sure that when Jesus comes, he’ll be doing book signings at Sam’s Club.

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Remember how Clinton took everyone’s guns and then Bush gave them all back again? Well, Obama’s gonna do it again real soon, so everyone go out and vote for one of those gun-lovin’ GOPers, nkay?

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Poe’s law: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”

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You mean like Panama, Hawaii, Philippines, US Virgin Islands, Alaska, Guam, Puerto Rico – like that?

Love this guy! The sad part is that there are probably some nuts who have since climbed a tree with their AK-47s to stop the military from takin’ over Murica (or as they call it: Texas).

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