Jussie Smollett road trip?
No, wait … wrong hat.
And Zorro was OK. Definitely not a Trumper.
I mean, really, how many guys could there be running around SF with a MAGA hat and a bloody sword?
I can’t speak for SF.
Attempting to answer that question for Florida, where I live, is scaring me very deeply.
“Maaaa, we’re out of moonshine…I’m going to the roller-rink and I’ll bring some on my way back…”
“OK honey…don’t forget to bring your rapier…!!!”
First, the man was taking his life in his hands if he wore a MAGA hat in San Francisco. So he was justified in having the blade along. And he was resisting armed robbery (didn’t the guy trying to take the hat use his arms?), so he was justified in cutting him.
“Florida Man…” 
It is somewhat tragic that my first response was also to wonder if it was a stunt by the proposed victim. I don’t know if a sword wielding pirate makes it more or less plausible. These are strange times.
I’m sorry. “A man dressed as a pirate” - does not fit with a man 'wearing a MAGA hat."
Wait…
Unless…
He’s a member of the CRIMSON PERMANENT ASSURANCE
The victim could’ve foiled the attack with edgy humor and a rapier wit.
The pun is mightier than the sword.
See. We don’t need gun control. Of course the vic is alive but it’s the attacker who counts. There are fine people who carry swords.
When the victim tried to grab the hat, the attacker pulled out a sword and cut him …
Does SF have a “Stand Your Ground” Law for LARPers?
If life is going to start imitating “The Big Lebowski” more and more then I think we’re all about to enter a world of pain.
Why did everyone go with Zero or a pirate? It’s SF wouldn’t it be more like
Samurai Jack?
The attacker fled the scene Friday night outside the Church of 8 Wheels
Trying to jam the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the track?
You slay me…
Make America Ginsu Again
Without knowing anything about the suspect, I think it only fair to assume he’s a “very fine person.”
That UK really tied the EU together, dude.