Discussion for article #242779
Ben Carson removed a brain tumor from a roaming Emu when he was on sabbatical in China during Vietnam.
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Must be one ferocious emu! Emu Rex!
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Emu and Jesus love you.
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Years before I met her, my wife raised ostriches, relatives of emus.
She assures me they can be quite dangerous and can kill a grown man.
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Why did the emu cross the road?
to go to school?
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Fuck the guy who got this animal to appease his exotic animal fetish, and then let it escape. To date, no one has claimed ownership. So, in the end, this animal is going to die all because some irresponsible jackass can’t take care of his shit. Seriously: fuck this guy.
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Hot damn! Jesus really IS his co-pilot! That’s so kewwwel’!
The agency has asked police to shoot the emu if public safety is at risk. Shortridge says killing the bird isn’t the preferred solution.
Apparently Mr. Shortridge is not very familiar with today’s police SOP - Shoot, and shoot often. And that’s with human adults and children… I’m not sure this poor bird has much of a chance.
Where is the good guy with an emu!?! Won’t somebody think of the children?!?
To escape “the evil thing.”
Update: looks like they caught the bird without incident!
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Some trigger-happy yahoo will shoot it.
Rogue Emu?
Dateline: FEAR. In the sleepy peaceful town of Odessa Delaware, the residents have been gripped in fear after a rogue emu began terrorizing the village. For many long horrifying months, the emu–aka the Terror Bird of Death–has been ravaging the city in an unending nightmare of apocalyptic doom. Residents are virtual prisoners on their own home, only daring to emerge in packs to defend themselves against the feathery menace. At night, people triple lock their doors and sit by their windows, AR-15s at the ready in case the Devil Bird comes calling.
At the Gas n’ Grub on Main and 2nd, the locals tell of The Black Bird, trying to steal the children of the town. Little Lucy Mea Penobscott narrowly avoided the razor claws and beak so terrifying that this reporter is loathe to describe it. She survived by jumped down an open pit mine, only to rescued two days later by a stout-hearted border collie named Shep. She’s not spoken since, and some even say–whispered in the darkest night–that the Bird of Hell stole her soul.
A traumatized immigrant family from the deep wilds of Germany have their own story to tell. The word Emu translated from the ancient tongue of the Germanic tribes of pre-history and means Lust Filled Aviaoid. In the Old Watering Hole an 3rd and Oak, Hans related how the damn to hell bird carried off their 21 year old daughter. When she freed herself at the end of the semester, she returned a… Hans barely can continue, but after another shot of Jack, finally admits that she returned a lust filled women with a female companion. Unable to hold back tears he admits that she’s become democrat and one of those women.
Calls to the Governor have only been answered by an intern referring us to the Department of Fish and Wildlife. Though I would never stoop so low as to editorialize an event that is truly unprecedented since the founding of America itself, I must conclude that a vast conspiracy has settled over this town like the sticky goo of fish guts on a hot summer day that have be left out as a sacrifice to the Bird of the Rapture. This conspiracy reaches the highest levels and involved top men. I cannot say more at this time, but if my fortune holds, and the sure to be released hoards of Demon Birds do not reach me first, I will seek to uncover how these spawn of evil have infected the very fabric of this thing called America.
Now, back to Megyan for the weather.
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That’s what they want you to believe!
To get to the GOP Presidential Primary Debate in time to be interviewed beforehand in the Green Room?
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Wow, it seems maybe former Rep Bachmann(R-nutjob) was right. All these escaped emu’s are no accident, but rather a sign that the rapture is near! A pig helped these emus escape - beware!
Oct 11, 2015
SEYMOUR, CT >> The plight of two emus that escaped from a farm in Woodbridge last week and were spotted wandering the streets here, has both a happy and a sad ending.
According to a report from WTNH, one of the emus — named Stella — was safely captured in Seymour Sunday and returned home in nearby Woodbridge. However, Mnck (pronounced Monk), who had been captured a day earlier, was not so fortunate, and died following her capture.
The two large, flightless birds escaped from the farm in Woodbridge along with two other emus, which were captured pretty quickly after they got out of their barn. The birds’ owner, Elizabeth “Woozie” Wikfors, previously told WTNH that her pot-bellied pig opened the barn gate which led to the emus getting loose and hitting the road…
LOL. I’m not sure whether you need a tranquilizer, or an agent.
This thread is a welcome relief from goat-roping policemen and the latest bloviations from tRump and Uncle Ben; “Woozie” Wikfors indeed :o)