THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE.
Breaking news? Any emu wandering around and finally being captured? Is the AP just having some fun or is there more to this story than we’ve been told?!?!?!?! While at great risk myself I’ve uncovered the truth! It’s a conspiracy to protect the secret government breeding facility for Demon Black Birds of Lusty Surveillance and Death. Save our nation! Save our daughters! Save your lives while you still can!