I don’t think a Q-Tip is gonna do it. Better to send the big dog with the paper towels.
Melania’s body double had a prior engagement and Donald didn’t want to travel alone, so…second best wingnut gets the gig.
This seems odd. Trump usually loves getting some red state adoration. He could hug a flag or two and sign a few more bibles.
Pence will be huddling with FEMA personnel to figure out which loopholes in disaster relief statutes allow for barring help to same sex married couples.
But there’s a lot of water, and it’s wet.
Many people don’t know that.
You go Pence
Give em’ that squinty eye serious presidential gravitas look. We promise not to laugh.
Are you taking Mother with you?
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders tweeted that President Donald Trump requested Pence go Tuesday to the Midwest to see the damage.
Because Chairman Donald has to fucking take credit for everything. No wonder he thinks Kim Jung Un is such a cool guy.
Let me be the first to offer thoughts and prayers…
Praise the lord and pass the sandbags.
I wonder what indiscretion the sky person is punishing them for?
So Pence will attempt to part the waters with his squinty eye stare? I wonder which state will give him the neato cool jacket to commemorate his flyover?
There is not enough money to help Nebraska because Trump needs that money for the “real” emergency down at the border.
Will Mother Pence allow Mikey to be alone in the same state as single-female Mother Nature?
Survey? Pfft. He should raise his hand over the waters so that the Lord would raise a great wind and part them. What’s the point of all the God boy stuff if you can’t do a simple miracle?
Hope Mother is going with him .
Now, I don’t care what that Mr. DeMille over there in Hollywood said. Scripture says Moses raised his hand. I think you should spend more time with your Bible and less time at the moving picture show. 
But movie theater popcorn good, church popcorn not so much.
I bet Heston really wanted to carry his riffle in that scene.
Seriously I have to laugh at all of it, even when sensible Presidents do it. It doesn’t do anything practical and there’s no point saying the big guy is there to “survey” anything. They go and stand there and look at the water and say “Yep, that’s a flood all right.” They show up. They express concern. It’s part of the job, it matters, people feel better knowing the Great White Father took some time to stop by and say howdy and boy that sucks. But it actually gets addressed by people behind desks in the state and in D.C. whose names you never heard. There has to be a way to express what these visits are about that isn’t pretty ridiculous.
Pence To Survey Flood Damage In Nebraska
Trump is saving himself for the real emergency, you know the brown people at the border.