They need to educate the men. If men refused to sleep with any woman who unwilling to produce a child from that particular encounter, abortion rates woukd plummet!
As to state legislatures, these men remain in power because the legislators chose to gerrymander.
In a lot of abortions the person who contributed the sperm by having sex with the woman is not even aware that he caused a pregnancy.
And in most of the decisions to abort where the woman is married I believe it is a joint decision.
Is it notable that every one of those other countries enjoys affordable, universal, comprehensive single-payer health care?
In Japan, women typically spend 5 days in the hospital after giving birth, for rest and recovery along with observation. Itās also a great time for bonding with the newborn. It doesnāt surprise me that theyāve got the lowest rate of maternal deaths on this short list.
1 Like
I had no idea you were this cynical.
In one stroke youāve erased love, any possibility of a man sharing in a genuine joy and desire for children, or the scant possibility that a man may be emotionally impacted by terminating a pregnancy.
It isnāt only and ever about a man demanding a woman āhost a mini-meā¦ā
Iāve twice been part of a decision to terminate a pregnancy. It wasnāt easy for either of us. We both had to go through a difficult emotional process before, during and after. Different for each of us, but neither journey was more or less valid than the other?
In fact, although the choice ultimately belonged to her, it wasnāt pleasant for either of us. I donāt know anyone who says āI like abortionā or even āIām for abortionā. All can say āIām for having the choiceā, but itās a choice every woman (and man) Iāve ever known tries like hell to avoid having to make. I think everyone Iāve ever known would like Unwanted Pregnancy to be solved as the singular and actual issue underlying all of this.
Of course I canāt demand a person bear OUR child if they donāt want to. But it is as often as not a two-person tango? I donāt get the final say (being as it isnāt my body that endures the entire process of pregnancy), but I should have some say? Be able to legitimately feel and express my āmaleā feelings about the situation and the decision?
This isnāt about who gets control so much as whatās between a couple. If one wants children and the other doesnāt, they arenāt probably the best fitā¦ that emotional journey is best shared, and if itās at odds, then it can get unhealthy in a hurry.
Iām just stunned at how easily you could utterly delegitimize and invalidate the emotions of the 'other genderā¦
As a follow up to that, I want to share my own story.
I have one child, a son. He just turned 21 yesterday.
He was an unexpected, but not āunwantedā pregnancy. We both wanted to have at least one child together. Werenāt sure about more than that. We werenāt planning to have a child for a couple of years still. But we (and I really do mean WE) ultimately decided we were both OK with having a child sooner. If either of us had still wanted to wait, we would have probably terminated the pregnancy.
We took a full two weeks to make the final decision. We had numerous loving, mutually-supportive conversations about it, about the future, e.g. comparing what if now, what if laterā¦ Those were practical, pragmatic but also emotional and often uncertain discussions. Lots of insecurity involved mixed with joyful anticipation. We didnāt decide to be parents with absolute confidence. Iām not sure anyone really does. But I can tell you that whichever way our decision had gone, there was no āpresumedā emotional investment. We both deeply shared that investment 100%. We both knew that deciding to terminate wouldnāt be an easy one. We werenāt going to take either choice lightly.
Our biggest shared concern was that terminating could negatively impact our relationship (in small and subtle ways that arenāt easily quantified), but we were both willing to make that decision if it was ultimately the best for us.
Iām incredibly glad that in the end we decided not to terminate. Heās turned out to be a wonderful human being. We decided not to have more children, for a host of reasons. One of those (only half jokingly) being, ābecause it isnāt going to get better or easier than this kidā¦ā we felt that lucky, given his character and temperament.
All to say, that a man can indeed be a deeply emotional party to the entire situation. He can also be a good partner to it. This idea or notion that once a pregnancy happens, the man is relegated to an unfeeling, illegitimate satellite to whatever happens next, is a sad cynical viewā¦
And thatās all I have to say about thisā¦ other than Kudos to the judge for seeing this āabortion banā for what it is. An unconstitutional assault on a basic human right of self-determination.
Sorry to offend male sensibilities and I do in fact know young fathers who are as attentive to the children as their mothers are. But it is a fact men often skip out when a girlfriend or a partner gets pregnant. And one night stands where the man is promising yes, Iāll still love tomorrow? Sheāll never see him again.
If I knew you better I would tell you more about my experiences which might make you understand why Iāve reached a point of cynicism, but I donāt know you so I wonāt tell you these things.
Iām pretty sure weāve all been hurt in some form or fashion by loveā¦ I guess what matters is what we do with that, how we get better? I donāt know you, and thatās OK. Our experiences may define us to a degree, but again I say, perhaps itās our responses to them that better defines usā¦?
[quote=ālittlegirlblue, post:67, topic:81025ā]
But it is a fact men often skip out when a girlfriend or a partner gets pregnant. [/quote]
Which I would argue is all the more reason to focus on ācuringā Unwanted Pregnancy rather than fighting over abortion. Men donāt tend to skip out on āwanted pregnanciesā and women donāt tend to abort thoseā¦ Solves a lot of issues, IMHO.
Maybe this is obvious, but someone expecting love the day after a āone night standā is probably being naive.
I know the heart is is easily manipulated. Mine sure has been on occasion, and I too could tell you some stories if I knew you better. But suffice it to say it isnāt only men who are guilty of doing the heartbreaking, or skipping out the day after promising loveā¦
There are plenty of scurrilous louses willing to take advantage of that vulnerability. Maybe there is such a thing as ālove at first sightā, but anyone expecting actual āloveā the day after meeting and sleeping with someone isnāt being realisticā¦ hey, but we were all young and hopeful once!
Anyway, letās not engage āthe war between the men and the womenā (thank you James Thurber!). Perhaps itās better to judge individuals by the content of their character, not by the color of theirā¦ gender?
Peace.
You do mansplaining very well.
Wow, okā¦ enough said then.