I know what you mean, so this isn’t directed specifically at you. We as a society need to get to a place where being “called a lesbian” (or “gay” or “queer”) is seen merely as a factual error. Like being called “red-haired” when you have black hair, except of course that one’s sexual preference isn’t a visible personal attribute.
Their “side” thinks being called a lesbian is an insult; we need to not buy into that framing. If they do use that as an attempted insult our reaction should be something akin to “so?” (even if the target of the “insult” is not, in fact, LGBT or Q). We’re definitely not there yet. Most people’s reaction is still more along the lines of “am not!” or “how dare you!”
I’ve spent time chatting online with young boys. Wait. That doesn’t sound good… One of the games I play on my phone is probably 50% boys under the age of 16 and by far the most common “insult” in the cesspool that is “global chat” is to call someone “gay” or “fag”. So they’re learning it in grade school and society isn’t yet willing to call them out on it. A guy on my team (not a kid and perhaps not surprisingly, one who was open about his “Christianity”) commented at some point about another player’s action being “so gay”. I told him that if he ever used the word “gay” as a slur again he was off the team. He got indignant, but never used the word again. I doubt he learned anything except that Boidster is a “SJW” or however he categorizes me.
Maybe in my lifetime, but given that the N-word is still alive and well, I’m not betting any money.