Discussion: Clinton On ‘Cold’ Rep: Emotional Control Is How Women Handle Everyday Sexism

Trump’s crack team of investigators are on the hunt for Hillary’s real birth certificate, the one designating her gender at birth as “Male”.

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I love this piece. HONY is absolutely brilliant at taking a story and showing how it’s emblematic of the interview subject. So powerful.

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So the woman candidate is being blasted for being “cold”, while the male candidate is a raving lunatic, but the “cold” candidate is what the media focuses on.

Gotcha…

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What she describes is absolutely correct about how women handle sexism in the workplace, in academia and in social settings. Be quiet, be accommodating, smile when you don’t feel it or you’ll be called out for being cold, and disguise your braininess whenever possible. Oh, and when you do become prominent, be prepared to defend your husband’s wayward behavior.

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Really great story in The Atlantic today about the misogyny directed at HRC. They talk about the concept of “precarious manhood.” Good read if you have a few minutes.

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All true.

But how many nanoseconds until a RWNJ starts whining about Hitlery once again playing the sexism card? And ignores her point.

sighs…

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Either you’re too womanly or not womanly enough. If you’re the only lawyer in an office full of men and the only other women are support staff and you decide you’re tired of eating lunch alone and start to eat with the secretaries, you get in big trouble. When the male bosses take all the support staff to lunch, however, they leave you at the office.

If you get mad about something, you are hysterical. If you don’t react the way someone expects, you’re cold. If you’re attractive you’re asking for it. If you aren’t attractive, you’re a mean bitch. If you’re too attractive, you’re obviously stupid. If you’re too ugly, same.

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… i just heard a large “NU-UH!” from misogynists and sexists everywhere… double-sigh

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Trump knows that to look presidential you have to be passionate, exaggerate, dissemble and shout. That’s manly! None of this cold, calculating, emotionless analysis like women do!

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Also don’t wear your hair as the author of the piece does or it will draw criticism from someone as happened today because it drapes over one eye a la Jessica Rabbitt…

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This is exactly the type of thing people need to know more about. This makes me like and respect her more.

I also thought her story yesterday of when she was in college and her parents’ reactions to her homesickness was really humanizing and sweet.

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Yes! Been there, done that! I am a little younger than Hillary, but I am also a female professional in male’s profession who went through the sexist 70’s and 80’s.

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Check. And what a great response she made. And yet, sexism is so pervasive in this culture that what Hill just said would probably be more “valued” had her words been said by Race Bannon of “Johnny Quest” (a REAL Action-Hero)

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I can very much relate to what she is saying. For women in professional, male dominated settings, it’s like a minefield. Show emotion = “emotional”, “weepy”. Try to maintain control = “tense”. Stay calm = “cold”. Don’t smile = “inaccessible”, “tense”. Stay quiet = “doesn’t engage enough”. Try to talk = “talks too fast, tense”. Work long hours to get ahead = “too ambitious, where do you find the time, etc. etc.” Guys in the same settings, with the same behavior, get described as passionate, driven, focused, confident. Even compliments to women have taken on an insulting quality - you’re more likely to hear things like “dedicated”, “hard-working”, “detail-oriented”, whereas for men you’ll hear things like “knocked it out of the park”, “rock star”, “incredible”, etc. I really can’t emphasize how this type of thing wears you down over a career that spans years, or decades.

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I think you mentioned in a post about criticism in law school or grad school and maybe being told you were taking a man’s place. Do I have that right?

@mkposs I worked in customer service with mostly male customers, and I was once told it was too bad I was being disagreeable because I was so pretty. WTF? A slam followed by a compliment?

@tena Sometimes after laughing in their face to maintain sanity, I’d come home and cry.

@emilianoelmexicano Feminist you. Bravo.

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That was a tad astounding.

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O yeah - heard that more than once. I was taking up room that should have gone to a guy since I was just going to get married and quit working and the fact I was there was a complete waste and a travesty since a guy could have had my place.

I usually laughed.

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You know if she had only smiled, they would have stopped. (end snark) She has put up with this crap every day of her life.

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Ira’s mom holds the CIO position at a government agency, one of the few women I know, in either the public or private sector, at that level.

Like all women, she’s fought twice as hard as any man, being offered positions only after men declined them, and for much less pay. She’s been mistaken for a receptionist, an admin, and “the AV girl”.

Multiply her experience by 70 million women in the workforce who are ignored, dismissed, and patronized daily, who know exactly what Sec. Clinton is talking about.

Too bad most men will never, ever grasp that. To paraphrase the old VISA ad:

  • The cumulative cost of a post-graduate engineering degree at a top university: $100,000.

  • The income lost over a woman’s career, due to the gender gap in pay: $1,000,000.

  • The look on a vendor’s face, when he realizes the person who signs his contracts is the woman he just asked to fetch coffee for the menfolk: Priceless.

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