Discussion for article #239966
Peeks into comment section…turns around and sneaks back out…
Quit beating yourself up, Ms. Hynde. It wasn’t your fault.
But even if you think it was, don’t paint other victims with your broad brush.
Sadly, this just demonstrates that rape-as-threat to make women retreat actually works. I am thankful Chrissie was able to continue her fabulous music career. But sorry she blames herself or other women for these shameful acts!
More power to you Chrissie if this has helped you get through this after all these years. Whatever others think about how you deal with an experience personal to you is irrelevant.
I’ll never hear these lyrics in the same way again:
“I shot my mouth off and he showed me what that hole was for”
Tattooed Love Boys
(This from a big fan of Chrissie and the Pretenders)
Wow. Chrissie Hynde news.
I think for some people saying things like this, taking “full responsibility” is a way to feel less victimized; because being “responsible” means you weren’t/aren’t powerless. As in, if I could have stopped this horrible thing from happening then, I have the agency and ability to stop it from happening again now.
This makes me more sad than anything else.
There is a huge difference between advising women on how to avoid certain situations, vs. actually blaming them for the rape. Huge difference.
“Don’t accept a ride from a guy with 4 other guys in the car at 3 AM when you don’t even know them”
Good advice.
“If you do accept such a ride and get raped, the fault lies with you”.
Nonsense.
If you go away on vacation and forget to lock your door and get robbed, it was pretty dumb to not lock your door. But the robbery is the fault of the robber, not you.
I have never been able to understand just what people are saying when they say this. If I’m wearing a swimming suit does that make it OK to pitch me overboard? A bullet proof vest so its OK to shoot me? If I flash a 100 dollar bill its OK to rob me? If some clown sticks a “kick me” sign on my back it’s OK to actually do it?
“If I’m walking around in my underwear and I’m drunk? Who else’s fault can it be?” she writes
The rapist, you ignorant piece of shit.
“If I’m walking around and I’m very modestly dressed and I’m keeping to myself and someone attacks me, then I’d say that’s his fault. But if Come on! That’s just common sense.
Right, it’s common sense that because you were dressed a certain way a man gets to shove his penis in you. Right. Common, yes. Sense, no.
You know, if you don’t want to entice a rapist, don’t wear high heels so you can’t run from him.”
I’ve long been a fan, and I’m almost as disappointed as I am disgusted. Wearing heels doesn’t give men the right to rape nor does it mean a victim was somehow asking for it because she couldn’t run fast enough from her attacker. What if she was wearing running shoes? Is she somehow less raped or less responsible?
Also, Chrissie, you’re allowed to be as provocative as you want, drunk as you want to be, and it doesn’t give anyone the right to rape you. Hell, you’re allowed to have a man’s dick in your hand and decide that’s as far as you want to go.
I’m being very lairy and putting it about and being provocative, then you are enticing someone who’s already unhinged – don’t do that.
So, women are supposed to know this mother fucker is unhinged? It falls on women to know who is secretly a rapist and who isn’t? Seriously, how does your dumb ass explain rape in India, the rape capitol of the world, and in Muslim countries where women are covered down to their ankles?
I’m just thankful this stupid trick is old enough that she matters little to younger generations who might take her idiocy seriously.
Here’s the difference between a feminist, and someone with empathy.Plucky, you could have said the same thing without being a complete ass.
I’ve heard it described as wanting to own an event so you don’t feel helpless. Kind of sucks. She thinks that if she just does x,y,z she’s safe.
I feel super bad for her, too.
Okay, you just said what I tried to say. But better I should have read all the comments before answering a post.
AnnieW, thank you for bringing up this point. I really can be very difficult–and we all react in whatever way that makes it easier for us to survive–but “owning” it is a major accomplishment in and of itself. For that alone, she gets my kudos.
That said, I still put 100% of the blame on the rapist.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m extraordinarily offended to have some woman tell me I deserved to get raped because I was wearing heels. I’m sorry you feel I’m the ass and not the person telling women who’ve been raped that it’s their fault for not being sufficiently conservatively dressed. I have no tolerance at all for that. Many women have killed themselves, accidentally or purposefully, because of attitudes and idiotic beliefs like Hynde’s.
She’s from Ohio. We internalize a lot. The hypersensitive artist is often quick to feel deep, painful shame.
Wow, that is really messed up. How many rapists did she give an excuse to. She is endangering other women by talking so stupid.
Hey I am old and I never heard of her or the Pretenders. I guess that’s what I get for being a jazz purist.