Discussion for article #228376
Seems like ‘Cool Girls’ are ‘Any woman that disagrees with me, in any way that I think is shallow or not in her (our) best interest’
Which I’m kinda okay with - I have the same feeling about a lot of ‘Republicans’ that are poor people voting against their own best interests and seem to think if they just do as they’re told the Koch Brothers will love them, but . . .
Actually I’m going to hope the times I’ve ranted about those Republicans came out a lot more cogent and to the point than this. Because this rant seems to depend a lot less on actual actions than on ascribing motivations to those actions than I’m comfortable with.
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I can understand what you’re saying but the fact is that I think people should simply be whatever they want to be whether anyone else agrees with it or not. I have never met the fictional “cool girl”. I have known women who have aspects of her but never some complete package that you’d find in a movie starring [fill-in-current-generic-blond-RomCom-actress-here].
This rant is meaningless because it’s either aimed at women who don’t exist or men who are searching for women who don’t exist. If the latter, then I would say it’s not my job to go around correcting delusional people. Let them be delusional and lonely until reality slaps them in the face. Then they’ll learn.
By the way, there is nothing wrong with threesomes or anal sex or any other kind of sex or anything else people want to do.
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Hope the writer of this story feels better. Some valid points…but man, what a rant.
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These “cool girl” rants sound like the primal yell of self centered upper Brookly 30 something single bloggers who have no idea how the sausage gets made in actual successful long term relationships.
Newsflash #1: If a guy who is really into comic books is seeking a girl who is really into comic books, it’s probably because he’s looking to share a life with someone who has common interests. People of both sexes generally look for that in a life partner, and for good reason.
Newsflash #2: If a husband politely feigns interests at his wife’s daily 2 hour recap of her workplace soap opera drama, even though he would much rather be on the couch watching Sportscenter and putting his own workplace stress behind him, is he playing the role of the archetypal “attentive doting husband” that society has taught women to expect? Or is he just displaying some basic common courtesy to a person he’s committed his life to?
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Is this a real TPM article? Or a HuffPo or Buzzfeed clickbait piece? What is this drivel doing on this site? TPM is in danger of becoming a tabloid joke. Come on, Josh!
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While I agree this was a very over the top and unhelpful rant, I think you missed the point. She isn’t aiming at the woman his all of those things or even the woman who pretends to be all of those things. She is aiming at the fact that Cool Girl has a voice in a lot of women, like the example she gave when she said “And in the face of that never-ending question—Are you or are you not a feminist? — more often than not, it’s Cool Girl talking when an otherwise smart, empowered woman says no.”
She is right about that. I can’t imagine there are too many women out there who really do believe that women should not be equal to men. That is all feminism really is, an attempt at equality. You don’t even have to be a woman to be a feminist. But the term has become drenched in ‘uncool’ and so women claim they aren’t feminists just to seem cool.
She is pointing out how cool girl doesn’t exist, but does influence the way women act in certain situations. That was the point of this overly long and rambling piece.
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So apparently any person who does things that they wouldn’t normally want to do just to please a member of the opposite sex is some sort of gender traitor? Is that seriously the main thrust of this piece?
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It’s obvious she was getting paid by the word, and at 2000 she thought she could stop. I read the book (and I plan to see the film ASAP) and I never felt the need to rant. It’s fiction. It’s made up. The characters are not real. They do not exist, none of the which the writer seems to know.
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The circle would not be complete without a dose of sexism from both sides I suppose.
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What in the fuck, is this piece of crap doing here Josh?
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FemINIst = FAt and UGLy and JEalous OF coOL girLs!!1!11!one!!!1!!!
If you do an image search for “…one of the five people on earth who didn’t devour the book…”, you will find a picture of me. I know I’m not on the cutting edge of anything, but I’ve never even heard of Gone Girl or Cool Girl…
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I honestly feel dumber and slightly irritated after reading this article. “Perfect Guy” doesn’t exist either. You’re never going to marry Brad Pitt’s twin brother who writes you poetry, brings you flowers during lunch hour, never wants to go out with the guys, watches Lifetime movies with you all day on Sunday during football season, never makes fun of you for being a vegetarian (and cheating on it all the time anyway), doesn’t think farting in bed next to you is hilarious, cleans more than you do, makes tons of money, thinks menopause made you prettier, can keep it up all night while never running out of sweet nothings to whisper in your ear “during”, agrees with everything you say or at least never tells you when he doesn’t, let’s you have your way on everything, etc. etc. etc. This knife cuts both ways. Being in my mid-30’s, I can tell you with a totally straight face that women in my generation have some insane and fucked up ideas about what men should be, what their expectations are of them and what they are entitled to out of a relationship, and some even seem to live in some airheaded alternate dimension where Sex in the City is considered realistic and a man’s perceived foibles can be “fixed” (which she is of course entitled to do to him) or that he can be trained like a puppy into becoming “Perfect Guy.”
So, when can we stop with the insipid game to see who can come up with the next most strained reason that men are jerks for having expectations, likes, dislikes, things that they find attractive and things they don’t, fantasies about what would be great, etc.? I mean, I’ll be the first to jump all over misogyny when I see it, but come on, this vapid article is essentially complaining that men think a woman who likes to do the same things they do, shares their interests, etc., would be the greatest thing ever. And yet, the next article we see from her or one of these people writing this tripe will be all about men’s failings as a gender in general with respect to meeting women’s expectations of them regarding the kids or the house chores or in bed or whatever.
TL;DR: Sure…unfair for guys to have fantasies about what the perfect woman would be, but perfectly ok for women to spend all their time in relationships “fixing” their man. Yawn. Wake me when someone finds something rational to talk about.
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“If you’ve somehow forgotten the choice passage (or are one of the five people on earth who didn’t devour the book”
Honestly, there’s no worse of a way to turn someone off of a book they haven’t read than this. Bravo.
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Somehow lots of anal sex gang bang threesomes got worked into the same article as GOP’s oft-trotted talking points. I guess this is girlsplaining, but it reads like computer generated gibberish. I will never feel guilty again about trolling the TPM comments again.
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The funny thing is this “cool girl” monologue was delivered by a character who is a self entitled megalomaniac narcissistic sociopath. And not to get too much into spoiler territory, but your making your man the “Perfect Guy” is apropos to the overall story as well.
I understand the “cool girl” meme and believe that Flynn’s examples are more apt than not. I suggest the author here doesn’t get it or simply has a very low opinion of men as a species. Being willing to talk about sexual assault or head injuries in the NFL wouldn’t disqualify a women from being a cool girl. On the contrary, the willingness to engage in stereotypical male turf at all is what makes her a cool girl–for the segment of men you reference. And discussing the rape culture, national debt, abortion and Syria are supposedly no-nos for men? I believe the author’s focus on male shallowness is at odds with Ms. Flynn’s criticism of women who falsely subscribe to the “cool girl” meme.
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Interesting. I haven’t read the book and probably won’t and the movie isn’t really piquing my interest either. That being said, I’m sure the whole thing in the context of the book and its stories and the characters is far less annoying than someone writing an article about it turning it into a rant about how guys force their expectations on women and how some women should be treated as not feminist enough because they’re willing to conform to some of those expectations in order to be seen as attractive.
Let’s all get angry that the other sex expects us to brush our teeth, bathe and wipe our asses while we’re at it…and let’s also criticize those weak-willed capitulators who conform and thereby show they’re not strong and independent enough to be a filthy mess with diaper rash.
The whole thing, again, strikes me as silly, overreacting and twisted. More of an invented excuse to rail against the inequities of gender roles existing in any form whatsoever, rather than a poignant observation of interactions between the sexes.
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I think we’re just witnessing the blowback of a generation that has had their expectations of human relationships shaped by Hollywood . Yes, many guys believe there is a “cool girl” archetype out there waiting for them that drinks 8 microbrews a day watching sports and still maintains a size 2. Likewise, there are a lot of women out there who believe they’re entitled to a sensitive Lloyd Dobler standing outside their window with a boombox who still manages a successful career which helps provide for a nice downtown loft with impeccably tasteful modern decor and beautiful vacations. And once you find this person, you’ll spend the rest of your days doing exactly what you want to do, and you’ll never have to compromise or put your wants secondary to the overall good of the greater “We”. Thankfully most sane people grow out of this by the time they’re 23.
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