Just a couple of weeks after Kent state there were the May 1970 hardhat riots in lower Manhattan. What set them off was when mayor Lindsey lowered the flag at city hall to half mast to honor the victims. This act was perceived as being supportive of the “elite college students” who received deferments while the working class construction workers had family members and neighbors who were serving in Vietnam.
You can rest assured that like many outer boroughs residents during Vietnam the Trump family was quite supportive of the war. They were certaintly more than ok with having working class kids from other neighborhoods bear the burden, only a few miles away from their Jamaica estates home, Woodside and Sunnyside having the highest casualty rate of any zip code.
I start to see the monkey in the machine the older I get. That is, nothing more self righteous than someone who hasn’t earned it in any way. Donald Trump being posited as a ‘strongman’ is a joke a world’s history long.
And yet every born rich person I know is or has been allowed to be a genial fool at best wrapped with an absolutely unthought and unchallenged self righteousness.
My experience has been to be disgusted with peace activists beginning in the early '60’s when I began making deterent patrols on nuclear submarines. It was the Cold War. I had life changes beginning then up to this year. I am now 85 y.o. (over 80 years later.)
Here is an interesting account of mine with Alan Canfora of Kent State University. Alan passed about 4 years ago.
IT’S NEVER TOO LATE
It’s never too late but it can be too little. Perhaps, “it’s the thought that counts”, is more fitting here. I did something in 1971 that has bugged me all these years. Last week I found myself in a situation where I could make an amends about the cruel act I performed back then.
Forty-seven years ago, I disparaged and discounted the efforts of the Kent State students who demonstrated against the Cambodian Incursion conducted by President Nixon during the Vietnam War. I ridiculed the deaths and injuries suffered by the students of that massacre in Ohio. The demonstration occurred on May 4th, 1970. About a year later it was still a hot topic on the streets. I was about half-way through my career as a Naval Officer on active duty stationed in Charleston, S.C.
My ship was being transferred to Guam to support submarines cruising the seas around Southeast Asia. The ship’s crew were enjoying a going away family picnic at the Air Force Base in Charleston. I was hanging with one of my pals who happened to be the Officer in Charge of the Marine Detachment on the same ship. We’d had a few beers and we were feeling tough and gung-ho. Two young sailors were talking about the Kent State massacre. My marine pal and I interrupted their comments crudely. Words to the effect of “they got what they deserved” came out of my mouth. At that, the sailors mumbled words, under their breath to themselves, to the effect of, “Don’t say anything. Just walk away”.
They did the right thing. I felt the disappointment in their tone. I also felt their scorn. I knew then that I was being cruel but I didn’t try to correct the situation. I held tightly to the feelings of tough and gung-ho. Screw them. We were fighting men and no one had the right to question our skill set in regard to who to invade and who to kill. We were protecting the world from Communism.
That was not the end of it. Over the years, beginning with a sensitivity training workshop while in Guam I gained some insights that would steadily unravel my military attitude and thought processes. That part of me that believed I was wrong was impowered to stand strong and not be buried alive to waste away. The incident at the family picnic in Charleston was a seed. It stayed and germinated. Little by little, similar situations came to me and further contributed to my discomfort of who I had become. Like many births, germinating seeds, epiphanies there was struggle and violent changes happening. The militant attitude was not going to give up easily.
It did finally change with a transfer of duty stations in 1979. I asked for duty in the Northeastern U.S. I needed to escape the la-la land of SoCal. I ended up in Long Island, New York. Port Washington to be exact. The transfer was a re-birth of sorts. A new region. A new population so unlike what I had endured in San Diego. I was excited to be back east. During my first day in Port Washington I walked into an independent bookstore. That was the real watershed moment in my reconfiguration. The Dolphin Bookshop on Main Street took me in and spit me out as an activist. I was changed. Dorothea Vunk and her daughter Patti gently applied truth and patiently stripped me of my militarism. I left the Navy a few months later and from that point on I worked in the human services field. What stayed forever though was that nagging irritation of what I had done regarding the Kent State massacre.
alan canfora May 4 1970
Alan Canfora in the line of fire. What courage!
A few days ago, I was at the writer’s group in Boothbay Harbor. A new person was visiting for the first time. Jed Hickson, a photographer and writer, showed up and during his introduction to us mentioned he’d been at Kent State as a student and had witnessed the activities of May 4th, 1970. Jed’s health had deteriorated with his Parkinson’s Disease. His voice was greatly affected. He spoke so softly it was difficult to make out all of his words. Still, we talked briefly about the poem he’d written to commemorate the massacre. The old disgust inside me, of my behavior toward the young sailors many years before, awoke. I felt the heaving surge of guilt and regret building to the point that I told Jed that I needed to reveal what was bothering me. I told him that I had been on the other side of the equation regarding the massacre. That I had supported the National Guard actions of that day so long ago and that I had had a change of heart and I needed to find a way to express my regrets. I apologized directly to Jed for those things I had thought and said in 1971. Jed turned to see me better and a smile came across his lips. He nodded slightly to acknowledge my message. That was it.
A few days later I searched the internet for more information on the Kent State Massacre; those events that unfolded on May 4th of 1970. There was more information about the events of the days surrounding that date. Alan Canfora was one of the central figures then. His bravery in standing against the National Guard with his black flag flying in the wind made him a target for the shooters. I searched more about Alan and found several reports of his behavior and how he was wounded in the right wrist by a bullet from an M-1. Included in the search results was a contact email address. I used it. These are the exchanges Alan and I had a few days ago. These helped me greatly and I detected that he was grateful for the interchange.
On Fri, Dec 7, 2018, 9:48 AM George Goodwin <gmail.com wrote:
Dear Alan,
I would like to make amends to you for my behavior during the early seventies. It is important to me that I express regret for my ignorance and crude behavior during those years. Would you be willing to hear what I have to say?
Respectfully,
g
On Fri, Dec 7, 2018 at 11:47 AM Alan Canfora <gmail.com> wrote:
Dear George,
Sure.
Alan
On Fri, Dec 7, 2018, 1:59 PM George Goodwin <gmail.com wrote:
Dear Alan, I am grateful for this opportunity to express regret for those thoughts and feelings of hostility I held during the early seventies toward college students and peace activists. I was a career Navy man in 1970 on May 4th. I was aware of the Kent State massacre but I was not involved in any sense with the politics or the nature of the mistakes our government was making then. I was present but totally ignorant of any other point of view outside of the culture I was a part of. In 1970 I was 31 years old. I had made warrant officer from the enlisted ranks in the submarine force. I was pretty much arrogant and a proud member of the military. I retired in 1980 after serving 23 years. It was in 1979 that I came to understand the other ideas that had eluded me for so long. The change was precipitated by my walking into an independent book store in Long Island, New York. That was September of 1979. It was that fortuitous accident that changed me to who I am now. Never enter an independent book store unless one is willing to change/become radical.
I became a member of an affinity group involved with activism against nuclear power. I kept it to myself during the remainder of my Navy service. Within a year I had taken part in anti-nuke demonstrations and gotten arrested several times. I was careful not to come to the attention of my senior officers. I planned my retirement carefully and from the first of July 1980 I was active on many fronts. For the past 37 years I’ve been a counselor and clinical director in all modalities of substance abuse treatments and for the past 12 years I’ve been a facilitator in prisons conducting weekend workshops as a trained member of Alternatives to Violence Project.
I am truly sorry for not understanding the seriousness of the military actions in Vietnam and what the college students were trying to express to the world. I was disgusted and angry with all activists and I didn’t like activism then. I made some disparaging comments then toward all college age citizens. I recall saying those things to younger Navy men who were in sympathy with the Kent State victims. This is the part that really hurts. I regret to my core all those thoughts ands comments I made during those years I was still a war-monger.
I am a member of a writer’s group in Boothbay, Maine. A man came to the group the other night. His name is Jed Hickson. He suffers from Parkinson’s Disease. He brought things he wrote and I admired some of his writing. Then he mentioned he was at Kent State during the NG shooting the students. I was keen to say something to him and I did when I got the opportunity. I told him I was on the other side of the equation during those days. I told him how sorry I was to have taken that position with no knowledge of what was at stake. He smiled and acknowledged my comments. Later on, I felt that he was the closest to the victims as I would ever get to make the amends.
Today I researched further to find your name and read about your activities on May 4th. I admire your courage to stand against the NG that day.
Please know that I am sorry for not helping to stop the wars and violence then. I knew that Vietnam was not fought for the reasons given. I know it was the resources of the land that were the target of our military. I wish for you strength and comfort. I will continue to be active in the peace movement as a member of Veterans for Peace in Maine and I will continue to conduct workshops inside the wall of Maine State Prison.
Peace,
George Goodwin Boothbay, Maine 7 December 2018
Dear George,
Your kind words are sincerely appreciated and brightened my day. I’m glad you and I have lived long enough to take time to reconsider lessons of our lives and make such expressions for the good of others and ourselves. If only others with hardened hearts could similarly consider the motivations of others they misunderstand. Through improved communication opportunities in this modern era, hopefully more citizens can also find love in their hearts which brings healing to our nation and world.
I salute you, sir.
With gratitude,
Alan Canfora
Akron, Ohio
The weakness in this article is that it implicitly assumes that killing people isn’t Trump’s point and plan.