Just want to add to the conversation, though I’m sure many of us don’t mean to put all Catholics (or whatevers, except Fundies and other ultra “orthodoxers”) in the same boat.
First, I’m an atheist, having left the Episcopal (low church) at 15, except for babysitting in the nursery during services. I still love the music and the grandeur of places like Grace Cathedral.
I taught in a all-girls Catholic high school, and though I found the mandatory masses quite awful, the Sisters and my admins were welcoming to all. In my interview, I said I was raised in the Episcopal church and that yes, I could adhere to principles of Catholic social justice. I am a historian, and my teaching is very much tilted to social history and social justice.
At my first day on the job (“prep week”), the school bussed us to a tented luncheon at a Sonoma County winery. Each table had bottles of wine and rolls. Our ‘rented priest’ said a prayer and said the bread and wine on the table would be our “communion,” and would we all take a moment to take it and reflect on our gathering. I asked Sr. Joan (seated next to me) if it was OK for me to participate, and she said, of course! - we are a community.
We had a good number of students who were not RC - Russian/Armenian Orthdox, Protestants, at least one Jainist, several Muslims, and other non-Christians. None were refused a blessing.
My neighbor had died of AIDs a few years previously, and his funeral was to be held at St. Kevin’s down the block. I dreaded going. The service was wonderful … and the priest was openly gay. It was then that I realized the bullshit stuff coming out of the archbishop’s mouth was largely ignored in the trenches.
That said, the school did have to cloak its Gay/Straight Alliance club under another name. One of our teachers was in the process of transitioning. The Sisters went to the archbishop to find what the “consequences” might be, and was told “It’s fine - he’ll be a man.”
Funny story - The school decided they would formally announce the transition at a lunch “meeting” with all faculty, staff, and Board members. Over dessert, the Board president, an alum who still lived in the sixties somewhere, tried her best to not stumble over the words announcing G’s identification. Here’s the amusing part - I looked around to see that not ONE person in the room had a reaction beyond finishing their dessert.
BTW - I know of at least two RC teachers who assisted students in finding an abortion provider.