Former Energy Secretary and Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Monday attempted to wade into the state’s school mask wars by promoting a product that he has a financial stake in as more schools implement mandates that buck Gov. Greg Abbot’s (R) ban.
I apologize folks. We make them bigger in Texas.
Rick be like
It creates household odors
It disinfects
It’s sanitised for your protection
It gives you an erection
It wins the election
Rick Perry must be hard up to capitalize on his political career: he seems to get his thumbs all over his party’s more dubious initiatives.
If recollection serves, he was also tied to marketing gas to Ukraine under Donnie.
“Allowing them to have that interaction without masks on their face so they can see those reflections. They learn at a very early age those facial contortions — the smiles, the frowns…”
Crap!
Someone had to look in the trunk in the Texas clown car!
And it had a spare.
You get style points for citing this gem!
(“It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar”…) LOL
The caption says that Perry is leading a prayer. But, I’m not convinced that that’s really what he’s doing in that photo.
Much cheaper and probably just as effective as the one hyped by Secretary “I can’t. The third one I can’t. Sorry. Oops.”
Rick … Rick… you’re doing it again … you’re being an ass again …
“Well, that’s none of your business. I’m not a public official anymore,” the former energy secretary said, according to the Chronicle.
In a rare glimpse of honesty, Perry later admitted “I don’t understand any of this stuff. I’m just in it for the grift. It’s very lucrative. It’s as plain as my face, these smart glasses are paying off.”
Unlike Perry, I can definitely remember three people I’d like to abolish from the public stage: Abbott, De Santis, and Perry.
Actually a lot more than three, but it’s a start.
According to the Houston Chronicle, Perry held a nearly hour-long press conference at the Texas Capitol on Monday that acted as a sales pitch to Republican state leaders.
“Well, that’s none of your business. I’m not a public official anymore,” the former energy secretary said, according to the Chronicle.
If he’s not a public official, why does he get to hold a press conference at the Texas Capitol to hock a product for personal gain? Do all Texans have that right now?
Bless his heart, the little peckerwood has no idea what the word “shame” means.
It does kind of look like that left hand is going all Dr. Strangelove on him and he’s struggling to control it.
But wait, order by midnight and we’ll send three great items!
Reminds me of an old joke:
Did you know there are 3 qualities the world’s greatest lovers possess?
!: They have horrible memories and…
Sorry, I forgot the other two.
facial contortions
That’s like a slow pitch over the plate but I’ll let someone else work with it.
Fuck Rick Perry
