Of all the President Donald Trump merchandise available on his reelection campaign website, one product really sucks: straws.
This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://talkingpointsmemo.com/?p=1236661
This is a companion discussion topic for the original entry at https://talkingpointsmemo.com/?p=1236661
Owning The Libs By Selling Trump Campaign…Straws
Headline taken directly from right wing nutter media, reproduced faithfully by TPM.
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Trump is counting on the GULLIBILITY and HATEFULNESS of his racist maggoted-MAGAts while laughing all the way to the bank to enrich himself!
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For an extra 99.99, your favorite racist can purchase a straw used by supreme leader himself! But you might want to wash the adderall powder off the intake.
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Would anyone like to guess where I would tell him where to shove those straws?
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Anyone stupid enough to buy these is stupid enough to vote for him.
ETA: Geez, it must be Friday. My brain is so fried (and overloaded by this week’s political Crapalooza) that I actually thought the above statement was witty. 
(It’s the end of my working day, so I am going home to a glass of cold rosé and try to recover…)
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Now, if he only had a brain.
What would he do with a brain if he had one? (h/t Randy Rainbow)
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Buy Trump straws so you can suck.
Makes sense.
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tRump straws don’t suck, but he certainly does.
And still the rubes won’t get how he’s fleecing the hell out of them by charging $15 for 10 lousy pieces of plastic. Recyclable? Highly doubtful. As if his cult followers give two shits about the environment. That’s almost laughable.
He’ be better off trying to sell them red boner pills with his name stamped on each pill.
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seriusly everyone, they keep stealing my retirement funding ideas, though $1.50 a trump straw? that thing must suck
and really, i might want to charge $4.50 for a $0.37 can of soup, but its soup
ETA: didn’t say they were good ideas, but probably as useful as my 401K, and at least the money would go to me and not trump’s campaign funded legal fees, like the prez, gotta divert
The unfortunate thing here is that his rubes are stupid enough to buy them
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It was witty. And hang in there.
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You can get a 250 pack of straws off Amazon for $5 which is $0.02 per straw. Paying $1.50 per straw is literally a 7500% markup. This is a Trump grift at its finest. I hope someone in his campaign leaks how much of that is going straight into Trump’s pocket.
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Buy 'em by the gross, TrumpTurds! Nothing would piss off us libs more than to see you all driven into bankruptcy and starvation by your blind worship of that fat-ass con man.
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Hmmm…
Seems to me this would be a more appropriate type of straw that Fat Ass should be selling:
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Oh yeah? Cool. I’ll sell you wingnuts a can of motor oil and a paintbrush for the low, low, price of $75.00. You supply the seagull and own the libs by painting it with oil! Hahahahaha watch their heads explode! Assholes.
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There are far too many photos of Trempy attached to every blurb remotely connected to His Odiousness. No one needs to face these images on a daily basis. One of my news feeds is set up to avoid all mention of him. Please find an image to use that suggests, without actually picturing, the guy. A can of grease? The Creature from the Black Lagoon? A random asshole? Be creative. I’m sick of looking at him.
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Thank you
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For that price, I’ll sell them the straws myself. I’ll write “TRUMP” across them in sharpie if they like.
When your reason for living is owning the libs, it’s so easy to be pwned.
(Nobody says pwnded anymore, do they?)
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