At the top of his remarks at a get-out-the-vote event in Pittsburgh Monday evening, former Vice President Joe Biden told a nearly 50-year-old story that he said characterized his campaign for the presidency.
All the way, Joe. All the way.
Time has come to do some time warp again…
Human Decency…
That phrase always makes me think of Jimmy Carter
That was an awesome speech
I’ve got that mastered!
(Who says eight months of daily practice and hard work haven’t paid off handsomely?)
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A new poll indicates that the vast majority of Democratic voters have taken advantage of early drinking ahead of the 2020 election.
In contrast to 2016, when many Democrats did not begin drinking in earnest until well into Election Night, the poll indicates that these same voters started consuming alcohol days and even weeks before November 3rd.
“By the time I started drinking in 2016, it was too late for me to fully anesthetize myself,” Harland Dorrinson, an Arizona Democrat who started drinking last Thursday, said. “That’s why I went for the early-drinking option.”
According to the poll, white wine, long considered a favorite of certain Democratic constituencies, was the choice of only twenty-four per cent of the early drinkers, while vodka, scotch, and other spirits garnered the support of a whopping fifty-nine per cent.
The surging support for hard liquor is an indication that Democrats are taking early drinking more seriously than they did in 2016, experts say.
Carol Foyler, a Pennsylvania voter who began early drinking in September, said that she had not stocked enough alcohol in her home in 2016 but was better prepared this year. “I made a plan to drink,” she said.
You’ve been Borowitzed!
Human decency?!? Great, we’re doomed. I’ll see the lot of you in the re-education camps.
As if any Republican will pay for your education.
I started on Friday and regardless of the outcome, probably won’t stop drinking until next Friday. Good thing I have to work from home.
I’m worshipping at the First Church of Charlie Cook … just dock the damn boat and tie it off.
Vomiting isn’t nearly as soul-deadening if you plan ahead.
Andy Borowitz has helped me get through the past 4 yrs.
In Closing Pitch To Voters, Biden Proposes Human Decency
And 43% of the electorate clicks the 
Him and Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, and Johnnie Walker.
Interestingly, this election has echos of that one. Following a corrupt and sleazy Republican president, a sincere, honest and decent candidate (hopefully) restores some honor to the office.
I think there are two archetypal candidates for Democratic success–a charismatic rockstar or a humble, neighborly one.
Those guys got nothing on my wine club stash. I stocked up on my favorite red to get me through the week.
Human decency.
What a concept!
