After inviting Liberty University students to the family farm for a “real” graduation party, former university leader Jerry Falwell Jr. has called off the event.
In a statement issued by Becki Falwell, Jerry’s wife and reported by Lynchburg’s ABC affiliate, the evangelical scion called off the gathering, citing health reasons.
Health reasons. I guess Becki wasn’t up for any more trains.
“Nighttrain”?
“Sorry, folks. We couldn’t find anyone to clean our pool.”
Jerry’s being sued for $10 million.
Means he can’t hire his next 5 1/2 Pool Boy Studs…
When did “Becky and I have syphilis” become synonymous with, “The Graduation orgy will not be held this year?”
This is as close as he and his wife will get to altruism, I’m afraid.
The “real” party - you mean the one with lots of booze and sex with Mrs. Falwell?
No, he definitely wasn’t drunk when he invited the entire graduating class and whoever they might be dating to come party at his house. Why do you ask?
What one calls “graduation,” others call it “ewwww!”
I think he’s working to cement his role of “Vice” president of the University.
Oh, gawd, this just keeps on getting better and better all the time. This is why I’m now leaning towards the Matrix explanation of reality, as reality could NOT be this crazy without a team of demented writers scripting it.
What’s amusing is that in Heinlein’s ‘Future History’ cycle, this period is known as 'The Crazy Years".
Co-eds, bring your bikinis. The pool will be open. The pool boy has been working very hard.
No RSVP’s = no attendees
That’s the only reason for the cancelation.
Next, he’ll be blaming the atheists.
“We’re gonna have the real Liberty graduation,” Falwell intoned while holding a mic.
“If you’re not a senior but you date one, you can come, too,” he added.
Turning up the heat on the board of Libertine U, is he? “Give me my severance pay or I won’t go away.”
So Matt Gaetz?
Depends. What’s the age of consent in VA?
If so, I take full credit.
Um Jerry, unlike you they’re Baptists. Don’t smoke. Don’t drink. Don’t dance. What the hell good are they at a party?
