Discussion for article #235921
I once worked at a company that had appointed a sexual harassment officer to handle such behavior in the workplace. Once I witnessed him hitting on a female friend and co-worker and I asked āHow is what youāre doing not sexual harassment?ā
He replied, āThatās not harassment, thatās love.ā
So, moral of the story, most guys have a long road to travel to enlightenment in these matters.
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Whitney thanks for the article. Iām a 50 something white guy thatās tried to be funny most of my life, although not on stage . I feel like Iāve been a bit more sensitive to gender and race based humor due to being raised by parents whose religious beliefs had fairly strict views of treating all people with respect. My oldest son, when it come to humor, is a nut thatās fallen close to the tree. However, unlike me, heās pursuing it on stage with a college group thatās almost half female. Most of their shows seem pretty mild harassment wise, but to help the cause Iāve forwarded this article to him. So hopefully it will get these kind of thoughts of started going at an early age of these young comics.
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Maybe I missed it in your article, Whitney, but isnāt humor the best weapon?
If you can mock them cleverly onstage, the audience will be with you.
If they threaten again off stage, bring THAT back on stage and call them out.
Bullies require darkness and you can bring light, funny light.
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Damn, I thought āThe Sliceā had its third or fourth worthwhile article, but then I realized this wasnāt in that section. 
(Yet??)
If I would take issue with anything, it would probably be the unqualified statement that children doing the āfinger penisā are engaging in sexual harassment of the same sort the adults would be - as a society, havenāt we established some sort of consensus that elementary school kids canāt consent to sex and donāt fully grasp the significance of such acts? For me the difference would be those kids needing to be yelled at by teachers and parents versus actually being placed into the court system at some level.
In addition, I thought the generalization about male comics at the end was unnecessary and seemed to be included as a ālineā rather than a fully realized analytical thought; obviously, there are plenty of funny comedians out there who donāt sexually harass people, just not as many as we once thought there were.
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Excellent commentary and sad that nothing seems to reduce and or eliminate this kind of behavior. Iām male and older, and I canāt figure out where the folks who do this get the idea that it is in any way permissible or somehow āfunny.ā I do agree on one point made here and that is to develop some good routines that shine a spotlight on the matter. Often very pointed and funny commentary can skewer the pompous, and the āentitled.ā Good luck and again, great commentary.
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I would think Ms Rice to be the expert on just how many creepy male comedians there are out there. But I can tell you that you it only takes a handful of miscreants to taint an entire class. Look what has happened to Muslims, for example. Most of whom, I dare say, are not jihadists. And though it seems unlikely from what I read, Iāll bet that not all Tea Party members are nut jobs, either.
Well written piece. I canāt express how burned Iām feeling right now that this is so prevalent and that women the world over still have to put up with harassment (and worse) with little or no recourse but to accept it or be punished. It upsets me that my daughter may have to deal with this as she enters the workforce, but I am confident that she has the smarts and personality to address these issues directly.
How do I deal with [creepy, semi-successful guy in comedy]? He said if I donāt come over to write, he will never book me on his show. [Gross, very successful dude comic] said if I donāt pick him up from this party, he will ban me from all Los Angeles comedy clubsā¦
These examples of ultra-creepiness only exists in the shadows. Which is to say, no man who would say such a thing to a woman would ever say it so that others could hear it and wouldnāt announce it to āthe guysā because this makes them sad and pathetic losers who have to blackmail women for attention. This gives a female comedian power: call these losers out in your sets, tell your female comedian friends to do the same. Brutally humiliate them by telling everyone what they say to women and you take from them all their power.
Yes, I know. Iām just like the others who tell the victim to fix it herself, but this is more than that. This is justice delivered to an incredible creep. Men dislike creeps as much as woman and no man wants to be emasculated as a creepy predator.
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We are having cimedy acts that address sexual harrassment, articles addressing it, leading to many needed discussions. There still remains much ignorance but this is a good start so keep it up. We will know we have progressed when the Johns are arrested instead of the prostitutes and when insurance pays for contraseption and abortions, not viagra.
Sorry, as someone who has been doing stand up for over 20 years, is āsemi successful,ā and has quite a good understanding of what goes on in comedy clubs, particularly in Los Angeles, Iām calling bullshit on this article.
Yes, we do use crude and crass comments offstage. Mostly itās just us being mean to each other. Itās part of the way we work. Itās how we spar. Itās how we stay mentally in shape comedically and itās how some of us get ready for the stage. We do it to other male comedians, to everyone. But as far as the physical stuff. Please.
The vast majority of comics would want to beat the shit out of a guy for doing that to a female comic. And yes, there are dirtbags who run rooms who want girls to date them or sleep with them. Itās been that way since the beginning of time. Thatās why they run shitty rooms. They are scumbag predators who have found a new weapon to use. Thanks for lumping me in with them. Much appreciated.
And congrats on pointing the finger at male comedians for using the ān wordā to describe a bunch of black guys, something I have never heard in my twenty years of doing comedy come out of another comedians mouth. Weird thatās just a gender thing.
What comedians like Rice do is lump us all into a group. So, now, because Iām a male comedian at a comedy club I will now be perceived, by some people, as being gross, disgusting, ass grabby, and on and on. And thatās, quite simply, bullshit. And btw, we all know who the scumbag comics are. We male comedians discuss them too. We donāt like them. We donāt think much of them as people. But like any social group, they exist within ours.
The problem is, you just lumped me in with them and thatās beyond insulting.
Sincerely,
Dave Anthony and almost every other male comedian.
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So progress isnāt treating women equally but reversing discrimination, such as only covering womenās medical needs and not menās?
And as far as I know, johns do get arrested. Thatās why they run stings with cops posing as prostitutes. Some places used to run the johnsā names in the media the next day.
I thought the same thing, that the best response to āsuperhot chick heād like to f-ck.ā would be: āfrighteningly enough, heās often said the same thing about his mother. I donāt think he gets any from her, either. But it may be coming out of her vagina was the last time he ever saw one.ā
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Good reply (I think).
The thing that struck me when reading the article, was that the underlying message seemed to be that Ms. Rice expects these lowlife slimeballs to āfix themselvesā, that it is somehow unfair to expect her to take action to fix it herself. Iām not sure thatās a practical expectation.
I agree with you and several others on this thread that snappy comebacks are the way to go. I would have thought that would be easier for comedians than for civilians, but maybe they have the same problem I always have: thinking of the perfect comeback after the moment is passed.
If expecting people to behave āproperlyā were realistic, we wouldnāt have the Tea Party. I blame social media and the Intertoobz in general.
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igss you missed the kramer video
Male comedians sound like a bunch of assholes.
Hey dainla, say something funny.
Iāll try:
Sorry, I am good, I know more than you, you are lying.
Get it?
And not being an even semi successful comic but hearing two independent descriptions of the workplace, I gotta tell you Iām confused about your ābullshitā call,
Yep, and it must be so lonely telling the truth instead of hopping about aboard the PC bandwagon! And know this is not snark. Just another artifact of man-hating North America.
Most, huh? Then why did you use the singular pronouns, āhimā and he?" If you are taking a home course in logic, go ahead and give yourself an F.
By the way, you can give yourself extra points off as you didnāt even begin to establish here that this guy engaged in sexual harassment at all. Hit on? I met one time a guy who āhit onā on a lady and now theyāre married. Must be a one in million, do you figure?
And everybody that ālikedā this misandrist lament you should ask yourselves, āWhat gives?ā
Ass grabs go both ways and have no boundaries or work specifications.
If this lady were a secretary, lets say, she wouldnāt be immune. The girls at the supply house that I frequent complain out loud about their co-workers and some of the customers. Parties, bars and concerts are ass grabbing meccas. This is a youthful thing and a dirty old man thing that canāt be pinned down to just one situation or one type.
Iāve been grabbed and way back, did some grabbing, so Iāve been on both ends, haha, and to a point its no big deal but some do get carried away.
Was your friend the ladyās employer or did he hold a place of authority where she worked? If so he was guilty of sexual harassment regardless of the outcome. If not, he was completely within the normal social boundsā¦ because the āladyā was free to tell him to f*ck off if she chose.
Seems you have some way to travel down that road yourself.