Discussion: Woman Who Accused Fairfax Of Assault Told VA Rep Of Allegation In 2017

I will say as a man I wonder how you can force a woman to give you oral sex if she is fully conscience and he’s not threatening physical violence ? Maybe threatening loss of job or something else like the relationship? I apologize if this should be readily apparent and I’m just too dumb to understand. But I would like to understand and willing to be told how.

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Why has this only now come to light?

“Fairfax has denied the allegations since they were first raised by a pro-Trump website earlier this week.”

The GOP has weaponized #metoo against the democratic party.

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I believe both of them. I believe she sincerely feels like Fairfax assaulted her, and the he sincerely feels like he did not. Sex is confusing, and our memories shift over time to accommodate our perceptions of events.

The affirmative consent movement has sought to help educate people as to what constitutes consent, but it’s fairly recent and even within its own ranks has major disagreements.

We have to figure out how to handle this as a society so that we don’t lurch from accusation to accusation and let Twitter sort out who’s believable. It does a disservice to both accuser and accused.

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I’m going to open a huge can of worms here. Tyson alleges Fairfax forced her to perform oral sex. Was his insistence she perform the act backed up with threats of violence, such as a gun to her head or a knife at her throat? Did he threaten to beat her senseless if she refused?
The bite force of a homo sapien is extremely strong, with some studies placing it very high on the entire scale of living things. A clenched jaw would have to be pried open with some sort of tool to create an opening if a person was determined to keep their mouth closed. What did Faifax do, or threaten to do, that Tyson’s mouth was opened to perform the act? I’ve read her statements and I fail to see any mention she feared for her physical safety or well being if she didn’t do what he demanded. Why didn’t she just say “Fuck you, if you manage to get that thing inside my mouth somehow it’s getting bit off!!”

Maybe a woman in the audience can explain what it’s like to find yourself in these circumstances, and why if you were unwilling to perform oral sex you nevertheless found yourself doing it. I’ve discussed it with Miss Kitty, and she defends Tyson but doesn’t really explain very clearly, other than saying “I’ve been there, you just don’t understand.”

Some help here?

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It’s called rape. And it happens a lot.

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We know what it’s called. Vaginal rape is something we can envision. Men are stronger, in general, and it’s difficult to see a woman blocking off the entrance to her vagina in order to prevent a rape. A man wouldn’t have to do significant physical harm to a woman to rape her, to perform penetration. he just overpowers her. But what is it a man does to force a determined woman’s mouth open if actual violence or threats of violence are removed from the events leading to her performing oral sex? Is it the case they simply through sheer force of will and unrelenting insistence prevail?

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I personally know nearly a handful of women who have had this act done to them, usually in a car, where suddenly a penis is out and suddenly they’re being pushed onto it. Shock is probably the answer to your question. A lack of imagination doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. There’s an asymmetry in the instinctive responses of attackers and survivors… the survivor goes inward to self preserve and has an out of body experience of sorts, leaving a scarring memory, and the attacker sometimes forgets it even happened.

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When they have to ask, nothing we say will make them understand.

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So, the very act of asking questions and genuinely trying to empathize and understand is itself something to be faulted for. What other gender specific issues are there that women contend with that men should just shut the fuck up about, because it they’re unable to intellectually and intuitively understand them they’re already too hopeless to even attempt to enlighten?

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Where’s the chorus line demanding he resign? Does being black cancel out the misogyny? It worked for MLK.

You have to ‘read the signals’.

That’s what “forced” means.

Honestly? And this is not snark: most of them. Not because men are stupid, but because men typically display a lack of empathy and understanding about the real issues women face just being alive in a patriarchal society. For example:

-Contraceptives
-Abortion
-Rape
-Wage gaps
-Asymmetry in labor (planning, cooking, cleaning, etc.)

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Ever wonder how many men sort of abandon the quest to understand and empathize because over a series of genuine attempts to do so the women they’re enlisiting for help inform them “You’re a fucking callous misogynist, and merely by asking these questions you’ve proven yourself too stupid and incapable of understanding even were I to try”?

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There’s only 2 roles you can play, a eunuch sitting in a corner saying nothing or saying what you’ve been told to say, or a villain

You ask…you’re a misogynist. You don’t ask…you’re a misogynist. The problem Stevie is that you spoke and didn’t say the words you’re supposed to say. Better to just sit in a corner and hope you’re not noticed until such time as some other dude fucks up then you jump up and point your finger and scream ‘misogynist! misogynist!’, then you’ll get a round of applause and a pat on the back. Then you go back to shutting the fuck up.

Notice there are not tons of women here jumping in to answer your questions right now.

And I’m really trying to say this constructively.

It appears you are ranking your own desire for understanding of the situation higher than the trauma of anyone who might have gone through anything like this.

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That’s right! You don’t have the right to understand why you’re a misogynist. Just accept and admit you’re a misogynist and just go the fuck away! You’re not wanted! Unless it’s Nov 4th then please vote Dem, then go back to shutting the fuck up you misogynist(and probably racist).

OK thank you that makes sense. Shock, fear for you life, and maybe thinking this isn’t as bad as vaginal because you won’t get pregnant.
As I said sorry to be ignorant on this. As a man I just have not experienced this nor have I done it, but knowing men, I can believe many woman have had to go through it. And I’m sorry.

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