Iron Mike Tyson was not asked to speak at the Convention though Iām sure he would do a good job if he was.
Drumpf thinks Tyson would do a good job making a speech?
Drumpf: [quote]If āIronā Mike were to show up, weād present an infomercial to promote our new patented grilling machine āSteak Torture 3000.ā Itās the best at grilling non-horse (so far as you know) Trump Steaks. No electricity is required to cook your steaks. There may be small amounts of Strontium-90 and Caesium-137 in your cooked steak, so keep those Geiger counters handy. I sell those too![/quote]
So heās not giving a speech. But will Iron Mike play air drums when they play āIn the Air Tonightā?
Oh, Iām sure there are C-list celebrities Donald can get to speak. His butler, Scottie Nell Hughes, that murder-trial parrot that says āDonāt fucking shoot!ā
Any way we can get Poeās raven to perch on Drumpfās podium and shriek āNevermore!ā during his whole speech? I might be able to bear watching Drumpfās diatribe if that were the case.
Trump Denies Heās Trying To Get ***Anyone***To Speak At GOP Convention
FIFY
It will be all Donald Three days straight
Highlight of GOPalooza Night One: Mike joins Norm McDonald, Vince Vaughn and Stacy Dash for a live reading of an election themed āMike Tyson Mysteriesā script 
That would be coolāhe already has a poor history with eaglesābut as long as weāre making out our Christmas lists Iād like to see him chased naked through the streets by dogs.
Maybe he wonāt make a speech but instead will take time out to mercilessly punch an innocent, empty chair. That worked so well for Republicans last time.
Iām not sure Iāve purchased enough popcorn for all of thisā¦
Smeared in steak sauce? I would relish such a film under one condition: There must be a (narrow would work) black bar placed across the genital area. Iād really prefer not having to gouge out my own eyes.
Itās not clear what role the athletes and coaches would play at the convention.
I know what role theyād play. Theyād fill the time that would, in a normal convention, be taken up with speeches and pep talks by various party luminaries. There arenāt many of those any longer, and even a lot of the partyās dimmer lights will be giving this fiasco a miss.
Edit: I sure hope theyāre blocking out some time for Louie Gohmert.
Iām guessing someone from the campaign called a speakersā agency and asked for those sports figuresā availability and whoever they spoke with couldnāt wait to tell someone.
Mike Ditka. Perfect. Probably a bad idea to leave any empty chairs sitting around while Bobby Knight is on stage.
Iām not sure I personally need to see the dog-chasing myself; I just want it to happen. But I know what you mean. I get queasy looking at the parts of Trump you can see above his collar. Maybe weād allow him a bathing suit for the chasing part. This has been helpful for my planning and Iām glad we had this talk.
Maybe Trump should try to get a furlough pass for prisoner Jerry Sandusky, he looks like a perfect spokesman for him.
That image should NOT make me this happy 
Those speakers should get Trump the Womenās vote. Now he can line up David Duke to wrap up the Black and Jewish vote.
WOW! I just canāt wait to see folks like Kid Rock, Meat Loaf, Clint and the chair, Kelsey Grammer after he does a couple lines of coke, and especially Rush Limbaugh giving the Keynote Address while the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings The Battle Hymm of The Republic.
And donāt forget all those wonderful Ayn Rand, er, Christ-Centered pulpit pimps like Franky Graham, Joel 0$teen, Pat Robertson blessing the delegates in the name of Ayn AS IN MINE Rand. Hey, Benny Hinn is going to do healing services on the Convention floor! Just think of all those GOP delegates who will wobble in on crutches, scoot around in their electric wheelchairs and all those toothless Trumpettes who are gonna get healed! Praise Jay-Zuss!