The Eagle is the MOST American of birds, Mr. President!!
Here is one with abs:
Here is one with vacant, Mike Pence eyes.
Here is one that has Gregg Allman hair and eagle eye-nipples.
You have to take a step back and really admire.
It takes skill to fuck up something so utterly rote and pro forma as a celebratory photo op. Itās literally impossible to do this wrong. There are no bad actors, no āboth sidesā you have to please, no potential to accidentally stick your dick in a fire ant nest.
The most ardent Trump hater and Eagles lover would take no offense if his team went and gave Trump the jersey and took the picture. Thatās just what the team does, itās part of our social fabric.
The most ardent Trump lover and Eagles hater [ed: Itās just, Iāve had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man!] would take no offense if his Dear Leader shook hands with the hated enemy. Thatās just what the President does, he congratulates the winner.
Five years ago I would have said: itās literally impossible to fuck this up!
Here we are.
āIn a statement released Monday afternoon, Trump said he was disinviting the Eaglesā¦ā
Deliberately pissing off Pennsylvania electors.
Pure political genius!
Even the rightys donāt like it
Now the White House is describing the Eagles as having āabandoned their fans.ā He Just. Canāt. Stop. He canāt do himself any good if that would require discipline or restraint. Thereās a lot of people in this country who donāt know the name of Khizr Khan. But most people have heard of the Eagles. They won the Super Bowl and all. You could draw a ring 75 miles wide around Philly and about two-thirds of the people who live there have Eagles-related clothing, car decorations, etc. etc. Itās NUTS to be bickering with them like this.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-eagles-cancel-reaction_us_5b15fe01e4b093ac33a116a4
Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney, national hero.
āAnd I still say that āHotel Californiaā was bigly overrated!ā - Donald Trump
Sarah will now go forth and claim that this was all along a plan to curry favor with Steelers fansā¦
You know, real Americansā¦
Fly, Eagles, Fly!!
Trump: āYou didnāt break up with me. I broke up with you! And Iām still going to Prom!ā
Canāt wait for that massive protest in Philly against the Eagles for not feeding Donnieās ego. It will occur right after all of those truckers finally get to DC to protest against Obama.
And, as usual, youāll be the biggest slut at the dance.
- in contention for big-ass lie of the day:
Fox News bolstered Trumpās line, using pictures of Eagles kneeling in prayer to falsely suggest that Eagles players had knelt in protest of police brutality.
āThe President announcing the Philadelphia Eagles will not be visiting the White House tomorrow to celebrate their Super Bowl victory due to the national anthem controversy,ā anchor Shannon Bream said Monday night.
The network later called the use of the pictures an error, and apologized.
sureā¦ it was a āmistakeā ā¦ āoh oopsy ā¦ we accidentally took images out of context and totally distorted the truth to support a lieā
Our last sane president and the team that couldnāt wait to have a meet up
Itās twue, itās twue!
Philly fans donāt care that their team won the Super Bowl or whatever, they care that they canāt buy a framed photograph of (the team) with THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT OF THE PHOTO, GOD-KING DONALD J. TRUMP 45! Or possibly a commemorative plate!
How dare the team deny fans this opportunity to celebrate things that Donald Trump has been photographed with!
The pathology is fascinating.
I give Trump about another five Tweets before he attributes the Eaglesā Super Bowl victory to 5 million illegal immigrants being bussed onto the playing field.
The film Silver Lining Playbooks tracked several charactersā obsessions with the Eagles. De Niro, Cooper, Lawrence et al
I think you could save some bytes by eliding the word ādishonestlyā as being redundant. āTrump saidā¦ā and Trump dishonestly saidā¦" are identical statements.
Man, they really hate those totally un-American cop-killing Eagles in Philadelphia, donāt they? LOL!