They left out the tale about going to Toys R Us in search of a ‘Bushmaster Barbie’ doll and making a scene when told that it didn’t exist. /s/
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“Our goal was to provide a wholesome family book that reflects the views of the majority of the American people, i.e., that self-defense is a basic natural right and that firearms provide the most efficient means for that defense.”
Uh, don’t speak for me, you drooling dolts. Don’t think that the open carry brigade is the majority of the American people.
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Great stuff!
I do think a companion book called ‘My Parents Open Container’ could be a winner.
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Muggers too. What do people always say? “It all happened so fast.” About 99 out of a hundred of these people would be picking themselves up off the sidewalk, listening to the sound of running feet and laughter, and that gun would be gone before they knew what had happened. It’s the same as those stupid car-window decals that say “In case of emergency I dial 3-5-7.” You’re just telling someone to break in and take the gun. It’s not about protection. It’s about projecting power.
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This can only be a story if someone gets shot. Otherwise it’s just a weird static tale of gun-exhibitionists being dressed for the the day. So people have to die.
Likely, it will be all the people who shocked them by throwing a surprise party for their 20th wedding anniversary.
Excerpt: We got home from the restaurant at about 7:30. When mom flipped the livingroom light on, people jumped out from behind the furniture. “SURPRI----”
Dad got eight–two with one bullet! Mom got six, and one of those was my Uncle Dan, who had a .44 on his hip and never even touched it before she wasted him.
I’ll miss them at Christmas–Grandma’s cobbler was the best!!–but that’s the price we pray for Freedom!
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And apparently they’re whiter than white bread.
Which makes it all okay.
The artist evidently can’t draw hands. Odd in a book about open carry that the hands are mostly hidden.
Just who is the market for this? Self justifying parents?
True! You don’t see any children’s books written from the pro-party time, substance-abuse side. Which is the bigger market, parents who open carry or parents who par-tay?
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My Parents Open Carry
The book should advise the kids to move in with their grandparents for their own safety.
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If I squint?
And only look at the truncated version of the illustration omitting the firearms?
I’d swear the title could just as easily be:
‘Brenna Has Two Moms’
Just sayin’…
jw1
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Wait for the sequels:
The Blood on My Dad’s Hands
And.
My Mom Shot Dad in the Ass
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Granny’s Freedom Cobbler!
“Come and pry it from my still warm dead hands!”
jw1
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The third book of the trilogy could be "My Spouse Has An Open Head Wound’ — thanks Obama!
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“Our goal was to provide a wholesome family book that reflects the views of the majority of the American people, i.e., that self-defense is a basic natural right of all Aryans wearing Gimme Caps and that firearms provide the most efficient means for that defense.”
beat me to it Farg…
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Shouldn’t that be:
“My Mom Shot Dad In The Ass Accidentally” 
jw1
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Und zey are ze blond, Nordic und Aryan family.
Und zere are no inferior races permitted.
Ozzerwise, off to ze camps.
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The very first thing I noticed was that they all had blue-eyes and the dad was wearing a Gimme Cap.
Papers pleeze…
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Well, the title should be short and snappy.