Discussion for article #246596
You know what they say about arms and politeness. I’m sure the man was quite civil when he gunned down his brother the pastor.
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I’ll bet a dollar there’s womenfolk involved.
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“Parishioners reported streaming out of the church after the shooting.”
I’m sure this is just a test of their faith.
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They were orderly and polite about it.
Ask any fundamentalist (or evangelical) christianist if his god is literally involved in every aspect of life and he’ll say “yes, of course; every hair on your head is numbered and god controls everything”. So, this pastor was killed as part of god’s mysterious plan. It happened all the time in the good ol’ biblical days. Just read the bible and see how many times god uses men to do his killin’! God uses man throughout the bible to even slaughter entire villages. Back then, the bystanders would surely have been shocked at the blatant carnage, but only because they didn’t realize it was god’s handiwork going on. So, the congregation of this little church needs to write this off as simply god’s mysterious will at work on the earthly plane. Amen.
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The brothers probably differed over a theological point.
First collection plate? Fine. Second collection plate? Grumbling. “Special” collection requested? All hell breaks loose.
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Emo Philips (1985)
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
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Or else, blame Satan.
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Fortunately, conservatives don’t believe the well-regulated thingie needs any work.
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The shooter’s lawyers will argue that he was aiming at the snake.
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Yep. Of course, anytime there are women folk involved it’s absolutely beyond the ability of men involved to control themselves.
Oh, wait… I think that’s a quote from the Sharia police.
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OMG roll on the floor LMAO. Reminds of the old joke about how there finally only two Irish men left, one Catholic, and one Irish, so of course they killed each other. Don’t remember the details, but that pretty much sums it up.
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… i think at this point that Jesus is all outta tears…
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My favorite explanation is that this is all a test for who gets into heaven.
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The Dublin may be in the details, but that’s the worst joke I ever heard.
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I just wonder how many kids were in the pews and had to be witness to this horrible tragedy.
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“This is a very small price to pay for freedom.” the Republican party
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I’ll bet $5 there’s a molested child involved.