Do they expect anatomically correct gingerbread cookies? If so, what do they intend to do with them?!
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Well if you put it that way, they’ll insist that half the cookies be girl-cookies. Ain’t none of that gay cookie-fucking in my Christmas! Think of the children!
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Mr. Dingleberry Schmidt von Carlton hasn’t a clue…
First of all, the first “Gingerbread Man” was credited to Queen Elizabeth (the first), which she had made in the likenesses of visiting dignitaries, male and female alike. It just happened that in that time period, A “gingerbread man” meant, a gingerbread human (or, um, person…).
Second, how loudly would his head explode to discover that gingerbread had been around in the Middle East at least as far back as the ancient Greeks (predating Christ by some thousands of years), and it wasn’t until the 11th century, when crusaders brought ginger back from the middle east, that gingerbread was first introduced to Europe. So… gingerbread “christmas cookies” are actually… a “Muslim Thing”? Oh my.
Third, the entire notion of a “War on Christmas”, invented and promoted by his predecessor O’Reilly, is an absolute pile of stanky hogwash. No-one cares if he or anyone else celebrates Christmas. Go on, we say, knock yourself out! Make gingerbread men with toadstool penises if that what you need to do! We don’t care any more than we care if you’re actually a mischievous LGBTQ gingerbread person posing as a “journalist”.
But if you’re going to foist your “Manger Scenes” on the lawns of government facilities, you need to also allow for a giant Menorah, and maybe a Kwanzaa display, and ooh, a big picture of Bob smoking a pipe in honor of the Sub-Geniuses among us.
Also, I call 'em Gingerbread Folk, and don’t happen to share any association for them to Christmas. I associate the little buggers with a story about a very mischievous little prat of a cookie who came alive and caused all kinds of aggravation to the many he came across, and we were all glad he got eaten in the end. A morality play about hubris and all that? One they might learn a thing or two from in this case?
Finally, in Europe, they’ve been referring to them by all manner of names for centuries. Ginger Kids, Cookie Boys (and Cookie Girls), etc. mostly just “gingerbread cookie” regardless of shape, and over there, they are made year round, not at all limited to appearances at Christmas. This is quite literally “much ado about nothing”. Keeping the base frothy and afraid. That’s some low hanging fruit right there!
In the end, I think all it really means is that Tucker Carlton is a Gingerbread Snowflake. And yes, that really is a thing. I guess the big question now is, what’s its gender…?
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They’re not gingerbread PERSONS! They’re gingerbread PEOPLE!
(By the way, in Britain, calling a person “Ginger” likely means that they have red hair.)
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“The left has worked, now, for a couple generations to condition us to, ahead of time, worry about what we’re going to say,” Bruce claimed at one point
What a terrible world… people actually thinking before they speak…
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At what point in the process do they become people? Do you have the right to discard a batch of dough or do you have to bake it to full term?
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I am so going to a bakery and ordering a gingerbread eunuch.
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The last time I terminated a batch of ginger cookie dough, Anti-Choice people protested outside my building.
So I ate them.
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Over 350 word article on 3 minute Fox News gingerbread cookie blurb!
The cookies or the protesters?
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Those must be the Charlottesville “male supremacist” Gingerbread Men. Angry, forever angry at being neutered, and declared war on…
When I was looking to replace mine, I couldn’t find an inkjet printer that didn’t have lots of bad reviews. And of course it’s such a scam, the ink is overpriced and a lot of them won’t let you print a simple black-and-white document just because one color ran out. Very wasteful.
I was going to switch to a laser printer, but I really print so seldom that now I just use the work printer without guilt.
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If they have to go to the can - must there be a Man-can and a Woman-can? - because ?
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They dealt with this conundrum on Star Trek: Next Generation, with Data as the gingerbread dude.
At what point is he considered “alive”, “human”, worthy of not being considered edible, or a christmas bangle?
The last gingerbread guy they did this to ran off, pissed off a bunch of people and got eaten. In July. How is that Christmas related, and where’s the war? Will it be televised??
Co-ed Cookie dorms? Hoorah! 
My son and I made “gingerbread lobbyists” as a class project (for civics, illustrating campaign finance) when he was in high school. Note that they’re all offering money.
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These tasty little men are as fragile as the president’s ego…
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I was so worried about the gingerbread genitalia that I forgot to get upset over the Brits’ war on cookies. “Biscuits”? What’s with that? (And before you tell me I’m an idiot, I don’t have an emoji to indicate that Im joking. )
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“The War on Christmas is a global struggle,” Tucker Carlson said Tuesday night.
Most of the global population doesn’t even celebrate it, so you’ve already lost. Asshole.
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Does Carlson have O’Reilly’s express permission to talk about the Global War on Christmas? Is there a lawsuit in the making?
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Not sure why we even give reports like this any oxygen at all. Ignore ignorance