Discussion for article #235225
Miami Herald, April 11, 2015.
Authorities in Florida are searching for fragments of Sen Marco Rubio’s (R-FL) head which unexpectedly exploded moments after reports of the apparent detente between Presidents Obama of the United States and Castro of Cuba. Witnesses were startled when strange noises began emanating from Sen. Rubio’s head and hot gases began escaping from his ears. As bystanders bid a hasty retreat, Sen. Rubio’s head was rent asunder by a massive explosion that demolished an adjacent Papa John’s pizzeria and shattered windows several blocks away. Fortunately there were only minor injuries and no fatalities were reported, but authorities are still assessing the damage, estimated to be in the millions of dollars.
Fragments of the head were said to have been hurled as far as the Everglades and one elderly woman in Saratoga, Mrs. B.J. Prepuce, 81, was slightly injured as a piece crashed through the roof of her house and into a cup of hot Ovaltine, the resulting splashing of hot liquid, mildly scalding her.
The cause of Sen. Rubio’s head explosion is currently a matter of speculation, but pre-existing conditions coupled with Obama Derangement Syndrome (ODS) is considered the most probable. The National Science Foundation is asking anyone who finds head fragments to turn them in to the authorities for future study.
We will update this report as more details come in.
3 Likes
Cuba, si; los ricos, non!
1 Like