The jokes just keep writing themselves. The writers at SNL arenât even earning their money anymore. They donât have to.
Melanoma, please proceed.
caviar-infused skincare creams
Made specially for people with too much money and vanity.
Letâs hope Melania doesnât get so upset she rips off all her clothes in a fit of pique.
Well, I believe if you get your hands on the court papers you might be able to decide that issue. Iâm sure Donald will simply fire off a few indignant tweets, and this will be the last we ever hear about this. I donât care what Trumpâs mail-order bride does, sheâs not running for anything. The Vulgar Talking Yam (copyright C.P.Pierce) provides plenty of material, leave her out of of it.
Papers please.
Melania is outsourcing production of her QVC jewelry line to manufacturers in China. Must not have gotten the memo.
The jewelry line has also been accused of cutting corners. Melaniaâs QVC line consists of, by her own admission, inexpensive versions of other high-end pieces she owns. These replicas are manufactured in China, despite her husbandâs opinion that âChina has rebuilt itself with the money itâs sucked out of the United States and the jobs that itâs sucked out of the United States.â (Donaldâs now-discontinued clothing brand was manufactured in his also much-maligned Mexico.)
A Trump representative would not disclose whether Donaldâs campaign had affected Melaniaâs jewelry or skincare sales. The jewelry line is still available on QVC, where reviews indicate a poor reception.
How to look like Trumpâs third wife without spending a dime
Well, there she is, playing that goddamned âwomanâs cardâ again. Iâve had worse things written about me in a high school yearbook. Try putting up with about 25 years of constant barrages from the press, Melanoma, like 2M words about a non-scandal called âWhitewaterâ, and breathless reports about how a certain presidential candidate is sure to be indicted for something called Benghazapalooza, and being accused of killing a White House aide in a public park, andâŠ
Step in some shit, honey. You are almost as out of touch as that fucking idiot husband of yours. You donât get to play the victim card while you are married to a victimizer who debases women any chance he gets. I always hear that peoplesâ families shouldnât be fodder in a presidential race, but these motherfucking Republicans do it every chance they get, and I am tired of Dems trying to be the âbetter peopleâ. Fuck that! And fuck Melania Trump, too. She doesnât get any sympathy, but she will get some major laughs from me if she keeps up this attitude through the whole campaign, with Trump bitching about Hillaryâs âwomanâs cardâ while Melania goes about acting like sheâs the greatest martyr since Jeanne dâArc.
I am hopeful that the media will begin to cover me fairly and be respectful of my familyâs privacy.
I feel sorry for her. She has no idea what her family is in for, especially because her husband is such an ignorant, racist, misogynistic blowhard.
Itâs going to be a long campaign. Wonder if theyâll still be together when he loses.
WhoaâŠNot a flattering picture of La Trump.
This story explains something finallyâŠA while ago I read a Daily Mail feature on Melania that mentioned she smeared Barron (the latest Trump Jr.) with caviar cream every evening before bedâŠI remember thinking, "What in the Hell is caviar cream? Figures a commercial ventureâŠimagine the 1st Lady on QVC, with dignity of course.
You are a naughty boy!
You do not get to âput yourself out thereâ and simultaneously sue for privacy. Sorry. Guess the Donald didnât tell you about that part.
Only you, Sir Eustace, could find something so perfect.
Oh, and if Trump needs a fourth wife - although I am sure that Melania reads her pre-nup every night from cover-to-cover before she goes to sleep so she doesnât fuck up in any way the next day - I nominate Ulla from Mel Brooks âThe Producersâ.
"God dag pÄ dig! Bialystock und Bloom! Bialystock und Bloom! "
Sheâs as sweet as Nancy R; just donât rattle the viperâs cageâŠ
If she thinks this is bad, sheâs in for a rude awakening once the General Election starts. Politics nowadays is not pretty. Likely a tidal wave of stuff, and most of it not very flattering, will pop up between now and November.
In one of those remarkable accidents of history, Melania stumbled on the formula for her skin care line when she noticed the skin around her mouth and chin appeared much more youthful after a long weekend noshing on caviar.
Pssst, Melania, your Slovenian peasant is showingâŠ
Nothing more.
Just thought this truism justified a reposting.
jw1