I’m tired and I cant remember…
In the next WH press briefing, SHS will say, “Secretary Sessions swore to tell the truth in his testimony. Therefore, this report about his involvement is false. It cannot be otherwise since he swore to tell the truth. Why are you guys trying to gin up fake news?”
Sessions gets a bit confused when he’s tasked with anything more complex than being mean and spiteful to black people.
Get him Al! Get him!
I adore you!
Sessions lied? 
Who might have guessed? He is after all a Republican AND an Alabama Republican to boot.
[Sessions now says he was aware of Papadopoulos-Russia contacts — contradicting his sworn testimony: ][1]
Why ah dooo declayuhh 
[Jeff Sessions under fire after court documents reveal more lies he told Congress][2]
I guess this just shows that people who smoke pot really are some of the very finest people Jeffwee.
[1]: https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/sessions-now-says-he-was-aware-of-papadopoulos-russia-contacts-contradicting-his-sworn-testimony-report/
[2]: https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/jeff-sessions-under-fire-after-court-documents-reveal-more-lies-he-told-congress/
Sessions not only said he had no contacts, he emphatically said so, in no uncertain terms. Fucking. Liar. Must. Pay. Paging Mr. Mueller.
Al Franken is a GOD,
He’s Good Enough, He’s Smart Enough, and Doggone It, (Honest) People Like Him!
Best Mick Jagger imitation in the Senate.
Right? It was right about there that he went into his Melanie Wilkes impersonation and said: " How dare you impugn my sacred honor by suggesting I would meet with Russians and do anything Anything at all, to hurt my beloved Confeder…uh, country."
Seems like Ku Klux Keebler better lay off the “magic” cookies, they done toasted his precious liddle brain…
When will Sessions be indicted?
It helps he dropped acid. Everyone should do it at least once. Or a few hundred times. That’s even better. Not that I would know anything about that.
Your guess is as good as mine but by god he should be. He’s supposedly the nation’s top law enforcement officer and to me it doesn’t get much more untenable and hypocritical than an AG, DA or Judge who breaks the laws they are supposed to and do enforce against everybody else.
Asked to comment, Rod Rosenstein said most Americans wouldn’t be influenced by what Jeffy Boy says.
Lord knows, I’m not…
It’s not like Mueller has nothing to do, but it’s hard to see how this lying gets by him.
Seth Abramson (persuasively) deduces that Sessions is now “looking like a PRIMARY target in the Mueller probe.”
Stop with the euphemisms already.
Just say it, it will set you free. Ok?
Here we go. Sitting down?
YOU LIED.
oh…and under oath.
YOU ARE A LIAR.
I try to be fair and understanding of the failings of others, but gosh, Mr. Sessions. I just don’t think somebody with memory as feeble as yours (bad (or sick!)) can effectively discharge the duties of your current office.
Flip on your boss and I might not even insist you go to prison!