Uh-oh—this could mean that Obama, who’s in a position to know stuff, refuses to deny that Cruz is, in fact, Lucifer in the flesh. Suddenly I’m scared! Mommy!
“It’s the President’s job to work with whomever the people are stupid enough to send to Washington to represent them,” an administration spokesperson replied.
“I’m in no position to confirm or deny Mr. Cruz’s alleged canine ancestry.”
It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
“I think if you’re looking for somebody to come to the defense of one Republican who’s being attacked by another—you should probably ask somebody else.”
He always seems to say exactly the right thing, doesn’t he. Amazing, competent press secretary.
I am Ted Cruz birther. I suspect that Ted Cruz was NOT born in Canada. I am convinced that he was not born at all, he has been here since almost the beginnings of time. And has been known by several different names through the millenia.
When pressed to comment further, Earnest shot back: “I think if you’re looking for somebody to come to the defense of one Republican who’s being attacked by another—you should probably ask somebody else.”
Awesome. 
Fascinating. Apparently this is the latest press release from the Mighty Wurlitzer: Ted Cruz = Lucifer. Peter King has chimed in.
He ain’t bringing any light I can see, my friends, but he could possibly be the Spawn of Satan. This is how you win friends and influence people, according to Lyin’ Ted…yikes, the thought that either he or Trump would be considered eligible to serve as President of this country is beyond frightening.
“I think if you’re looking for somebody to come to the defense of one Republican who’s being attacked by another—you should probably ask somebody else.”
Well played sir. Well played.
For Repuritans who have been calling Obama Lucifer for the last nine years to suddenly decide that Cruz is Lucifer; well, as Daffy Duck says, “Ha-ha. It is to laugh.”
What a stupid fucking thing for Boehner to say and even stupider question for the reporter to ask.
Earnest was later admitted to the hospital for a herniated larynx. Doctors coded the cause as a K23-X4C, “Extreme withholding of comment”.
My first thought was, “what kind of douchebag reporter asks this question in a Presidential press briefing?” Perhaps next time he should ask our President’s opinion on the taunts between Trump and Cruz about who has the bigger dick, because reporters can indeed go lower.
I was about to express similar thoughts! Mr. Earnest response to those wankers was pitch perfect.
Another possible answer: “The White House doesn’t do theology.”
Guess we don’t have to guess his name now. It’s Ted Cruz.
Zodiac Killler? ha! small potatoes.
Totally agree. He’s the best one in eight years. Where the hell was he?
John Boehner was ever so sober, diplomatic and statesmanlike in his comments about Ted Cruz in speech at Stanford University.
Music in background at Cruz’s next rally:
Please allow me to introduce myself…Just call me Lucifer
Cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah🎶
The Rolling Stones probably wouldn’t even mind.