Discussion: Cohen's Agenda For The Day: Medical Screenings And Getting A Prison Job

“He will then be assigned a prison job, which could be anything from mowing the lawn to cleaning up the prison’s visitor center.”

He’s not so good at cleaning up mess. Try something else.

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Interesting article in the Guardian this morning on “prison consultants” for rich people. Enough to get me up on my revolutionary soapbox.

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Patsy
May we call you Patsy?
“Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties
Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise”

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“…recreational activities like tennis, horseshoes and bocce ball.”

So games for respectively, the WASP criminals, the redneck criminals (what the hell are they doing there?), and the Mafiosi (any of those left?). Maybe some new “recreational activities” are needed. Without alcohol the old vodka-shots-until-you-drop game is out, but there’s always “push the rat out the window”, “poison the rat” (played with vile-tasting cleaning products, and the always-popular “shoot the annoying political opponent/journalist in the face”, played in this case with rubber bands. Good times, boys!

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I thought he was going to drop some bombs before reporting?

Wimp.

or did SDNY tell him to STFU?

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Upon arrival, Cohen will receive a medical and mental health screening

I wonder if the doctors will tell him there is no cure for Trumposis, but with a dose of prison and a lifetime of reparation to those you hurt, it can be managed.

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I would think handyman would be a good job for him. I mean, they keep calling him a fixer!

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He can work on his tennis game. Should be pretty good in 3 years.

You got some purdy lips, rat boy.