I was attacked by a swarm of caterpillars in the woods once, but thankfully I didn’t suffer nearly this much damage.
“all kinds of perfectly legitimate relationships” Please keep talking.
Ya and Jeasus
“There is nothing to see here,” Alabama State Auditor Jim Ziegler told the Washington Examiner. “The allegations are that a man in his early 30s dated teenage girls. Even the Washington Post report says that he never had sexual intercourse with any of the girls and never attempted sexual intercourse.”
“He’s clean as a hound’s tooth,” Ziegler claimed, before relying on Scripture to defend Moore.
“Take the Bible. Zachariah and Elizabeth for instance. Zachariah was extremely old to marry Elizabeth and they became the parents of John the Baptist,” Ziegler said choosing his words carefully before invoking Christ. “Also take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus.”
“There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here,” Ziegler concluded. “Maybe just a little bit unusu
He added later: “You said yourself at the start of the segment he’s being accused of relationships with teenagers. Now, to me, that’s not accurate.”
I think it’s accurate because you can’t spell the ages fourteen, sixteen, and eighteen without the syllable “teen” which is what we mean when we call people “teenagers,” you fucking douche.
Hehe…I’ll save my Muppet joke for someone else then…
Now, just shove that thing through the Pixar character generator and voila…Trump…
A Breitbart News editor came to Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore’s defense on Thursday.
Here’s the headline from Breitbart’s piece defending Moore:
She Sure Looked Like She Was SIxteen!
Tree Asp? If so, don’t touch. You will regret it.
[As a PSA, I am referring to the Southern Flannel Moth caterpillar. Dang things are hard to see and you can grab a branch and not know they are there. ]
It can happen to anyone.
No, really, it can.
Pollak: “What’s the big deal? He only tried to fuck ONE kid! Maybe.”
HA! had no idea…I just googled for a “fluffy orange caterpillar” image lol
It’s the larval form of the “pussy moth caterpillar”…how appropriate…
I must be showing my age but Pollak looks like a young Snidely Whiplash before he tied his first girl to the railroad tracks.
Except, word is that Mary and Joseph DIDN’T HAVE SEX. That’s a pretty big part of the tale.
I did not know that was another name for them. Hmm fate I guess is at work here.
“The 16-year-old and the 18-year-old have no business in that story, because those are women of legal age of consent,”
LOL
It doesn’t even need words added to it this time:
30-something year old man preying on high school sophomore is totally legit? Do tell…
When do they start demanding her birth certificate as proof?
Not even denying the rape, they’re just commenting on ages. Creeps
Not with each other at least. I’m pretty sure we’ve spent about 2100 years watching people lose their minds over history’s least believable lie to cover up adultry.
“If you read the article, there are several cases mentioned, and of those cases only one would have been legally problematic,” Breitbart editor-at-large Joel Pollak told MSNBC’s Ali Velshi. “All of the others are of legal relationships with women who were of age at a time when Roy Moore was single and since this is Alabama the “Eww” factor isn’t a problem.”
Fixed.
They hurt worse than scorpions.
It goes on and on.