God? She lost your number.
How about Satan?
God follows the poll numbers, apparently.
“Too many people who are being afraid of being called racists, bigots, Islamophobes,” she said last July, according to the Pioneer Press. “I’m not afraid of it, because what we’ve got to do is talk about the truth of the problems that are going on in Minnesota.”
***** never set foot within three miles of Cedar-Riverside, I’d bet a thousand dollars.
Come fucking see the big-city “problem” before you’re going to preach it to the rest of the world, you useless, conniving exurban clown.
Is she sure it wasn’t a call from Dog?
If you talk to God, you are a person of faith. If God talks to you, you are a schizophrenic.
It’s the bleached hair that’s making her sound crazy, oh wait she sounded cra-cra with dark hair too. 
What you heard was someone passing gas.
It probably sounded like Trump talking.
Wow she had to go blonde to say something smart(ish).
Great minds, sorta.
My first thought was “Michelle, despite that stick up your ass maybe you just didn’t have the right corn dog in your mouth.”
Then again, maybe it wasn’t a missed call from Dawg but the winds whispering “Loser.”
“It became very clear to me that I wasn’t hearing any call from God to do this."
Hallelujah!
She is probably on medication.
Praise the Lord and pass the snakes!
In a figurative sense, her carpeting never matched her drapes.
I mean …
after the car …
and the boat … AND
the helicopter …
I was really hoping she had drowned already —
Keep taking those meds, Michelle. They really help.
After watching Evangelicals fall all over themselves to support Trump, I think God disconnected His phone.
Or maybe the Russians hacked Him. You should totally run, Michelle.
And yet… she’s probably not in cahoots up to her eyebrows with the goddamned Russians.
What a fun* devolution we’ve seen with the GOP.
This woman is bonkers. God told me so.