Please Monsieur Macron, wear a hazmat suit when dealing with trump to protect yourself.
THIS JUST IN:
Trump White House Responds to French Claims
Oh, well, if it was Chlorine, then that’s ok. I mean, I use Chlorine all the time, folks. I use it when the maids do the laundry. And when the pool guys come to take care of the pool on the 392nd Floor of Trump Tower. And that’s all this was, I’m sure: one of the Syrian pool guys was trying to get someone’s pool ready for the summer, and the Chlorine accidentally got out. That stuff is so slippery, like, you don’t know, believe me. Nobody knew how dangerous pool chemicals could be, but we’ve got a solution, and I have to thank my good friend Vlad for this, because as everybody knows, I have the best people. The best people, believe me. We’re going to send all the DACA kids over to Syria, because Mexicans make the best pool guys. Melania loves our pool boy. She says he makes sure everything’s taken care of, and even gets to the deep parts. So believe me, the Trump Tower Pool is sparkling. And we’re gonna make sure the Syrian pools are sparkling, too, so no more of these tragic accidental pool chemical weapon attacks happen. Thank you.
In other news, at least a dozen diners at an exclusive Parisian restaurant, were exposed to diffuse cloud of Dijon Mustard gas, the source of which is as yet undetermined but thought to be close to a table with several large portions of gallete au chou.
This would explain a lot. It means that Syria likely did get rid of its chemical weapons stocks. Chlorine is also in some ways the chemical-weapons analog to assault-weapon rounds – even those who are not killed will suffer longterm debilitating injuries and require extensive care. It’s a weapon you use when, among other things, you want to drain your opponents’ resources. (Which was one of the many reasons it was outlawed.)