Originally published at: A Definitive History of Tucker Carlson’s Shapeshifting Politics - TPM – Talking Points Memo
“I don’t agree with everything Ron Paul thinks,” Tucker Carlson said in an interview at the 2008 Republican National Convention. “I don’t agree with everything I think!” Over the past three decades, Carlson has been saying whatever he thinks, even the things he doesn’t think, also the stuff he apparently does think but doesn’t agree…
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He is the Dusty Rhodes* of modern media, and the pursuit of influence to (quietly) acquire more filthy lucre is his only god.
* A FACE IN THE CROWD (1957) : film tale of media hucksterism
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Aka, “The Self-Serving Bobbing and Weaving of America’s Fish Stick Fascist.”
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The through line of Carlson is that he’s a white supremacist who’s also egregiously classist. He makes his money (the money he didn’t inherit) assuring white trash that they’re superior to Jews and black and brown people, but he also resents that he’s in any way associated with the non-country club set.
Hey, that sounds like someone else at the center of national politics at this moment!
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Grover Norquist.
What happened to him? Did he get stuck in the tub?
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I had forgotten about the bowtie. Gods, what a punchable face!
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In some way, either metaphorically or actually, the 2028 Presidential race will be between Tucker Carlson and Jon Stewart.
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Nepo baby Tucker is the perfect example of someone who was born on 3rd base but thinks he hit a triple.
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How is it that two nobodies become ‘important’?
Tucker was born in the right zip code and still actually believes he did hit a triple!
And J.D. goes full Ivy education and turns out to be a complete fucking dunce!
And worst of all, NOBODY likes the guy. It’s like he was ghosted years ago and still can’t find a way out. “OK, maybe this door will work. This looks familiar. Am I going in a circle”?
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Associating any fish with fascists is bad enough, but the wanton denigration of a beloved Friday cafeteria staple, the noble Fish Stick, is blasphemous. I can hear the howls of hordes of heartbroken haddock from here.
P.S. Jon Stewart’s take down of “Crossfire” is still a classic.
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Let us not forget the great Testicle Tanning adventure!
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I believe he went down the drain with the outwash he when went to refill the tub to drown another government.
Fortunately for all of us, some of these folks fifteen minutes is so fleeting.
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I beg you to reconsider.
Would you really want to deprive lampreys and hagfish of what may be their only opportunity to figure in 'Murican culture?
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Both are well represented in Congress.
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Hagfish do not have bones. Their bodies are supported by a cartilaginous skull and a fluid-filled rod called a notochord. (Google reply to prompt hagfish bones )
Seems like pretty definitive support, there.
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If you’re going to go there, you have to include the blowfish
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If you haven’t seen Jeremy Culhane’s brilliant SNL impression of Tucker, you’re missing one of the better impressions of the year.
That’s the rule. That’s the goal now.
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How dare you to even think of accusing me of being anti-Actinopterygii!
I love all fish, albeit some more than others.* Take any flounder (not named Eric), put it on my plate, and the sole will fill my soul with joy. Likewise any rockfish will never fail to lift my plimsoll.
Moreover, isn’t it me who’s lobbying for the reflecting pool to become The World’s Largest Suckermouth Catfish (Hypostomus plecostomus) Farm in the greater DC area?
And for you imply I’m a piscist? For shame.
*Salmon sucks. Take any food source, plant or animal, and its goal is to live. Salmon only live to die. That may partially explain why their meat is fatty, oily and full of no-see-em pin bones – it wants you to die too. It’s a death cult fish; not fit for human consumption.
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