The House GOP Slo-Mo Trainwreck Enters Its Third Week

Here’s who comes to my mind:

deliverance

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House GOP Theme Song:

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Only the best and the brightest over there on Fox. :roll_eyes:

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Videos of Carlson? Who in their right mind could listen to his high pitched whiny-ass voice?

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Good morning Puppy and canine friends!!

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They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
'Round here

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This is perhaps the best description of the JacketlessJackass that i have yet read. Via the Showercap Blog.

Hearing Disrupter

Anybody wondering if the GOP is still the party of Lincoln gets their answer whenever they take in James Daniel Jordan’s tension-racked, jacketless frame as he does his “indignant soccer dad demands to see a manager” routine during a committee hearing. Lincoln? That ship has sailed, caught fire, sunk, and been overrun by sea slugs and the ghosts of unusually shitty pirates. Sorry.

Jordan isn’t exactly famous for all the good he’s accomplished for the good people of Ohio’s 4th district, which he represents. He couldn’t be; when it comes to show horses vs work horses, Gym’s more of a “shits on the dinner table while emitting shrill neighs and whinnies” horse.

No, his fame comes from the world of wrestling. Well, the world of coaching wrestling, anyway. Ok, to be perfectly precise, the world of enabling-a-culture-of-horrific-sexual-abuse-at-the-school-where-he-coached wrestling. There was a vile predator in the program where Jordan worked. Jordan knew, and he did not one fucking thing about it.

…and still, the craven little weasel acts like God’s own vessel on Earth, standing in righteous judgement of all us degenerate liberals who have never given a serial sex criminal free reign to prey on young people in our charge. Unlike some folks we could mention.

From the comfort of his cartoonishly-gerrymandered safe space, Gym shamelessly hectors America as one of his white nationalist death cult’s leading shriekers, and you have to admit, if you’re looking to howl like a trumpet that’s been jammed up a water buffalo’s butthole until C-SPAN viewers call in to inquire about your physical and mental health, a jacket’s only gonna get in the way.

He’s known as a “conservative firebrand,” which is what the media calls know-nothing Tea Party zealots who like shutting down the government and screaming BENGHAZI until the veins in their forehead explode.

Jordan doesn’t so much legislate as troll in an extremely formal manner. He stages juvenile stunts. Wastes Congress’ time with idiotic nuisance bills pertaining to wingnut conspiracy theories. And of course, he’s been a dutiful soldier on the front lines of his Turd Emperor’s attacks on the foundations of American democracy, most particularly the Mueller investigation and similar attempts to prevent the President and his minions from getting away with treason.

…but help his constituents? Lift a single finger to improve life for the folks back home who sent him to Washington and pay his salary? Nah, that ain’t Gymbo’s style. Bellowing brazen lies in service to a cheap wannabe tyrant is more his speed.

Jordan is so obviously batshit that his repeated efforts to seek leadership positions within the House Republican Caucus have been laughed off by his own generally feral colleagues, but as the GOP continues their retreat from moderation and rationality, who knows?

Maybe in another 20 years, Gym will step into John Boehner’s shoes, and he’ll be the establishment figurehead frantically struggling to corral a caucus that I assume will consist of literal screaming piles of shit by then.

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Looks like a toddler hanging on the railing of his crib!

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Absolutely perfect.

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What’s the point of spending time trying to make sense of the nonsense.

Report what it is. The story tells itself.

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They can’t urge them to elect a speaker so they’ll look smart.

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How would voting for SOTH from the majority part make the President look weak?

Unfortunately, the minions will vigorously nod their heads in desperate agreement.

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Um…you answered your own question. The people who listen to him are most definitely not in their right minds

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Can’t say I blame him. I suppose wearing the cone of shame for a week really cramped his style.

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I can see that, but I get something more like the village idiot vibe.

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Fun fact - Granger introduced the CR budget bill under which we are currently operating under.

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When Democrats are pushing bills like banning gas-powered mowers and gas-powered stoves in New York City, all under the name of a climate control agenda, we can all see what is really going on here. The truth is, is in Genesis 8:22, it says, “as long as the Earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”

I’ll say that again: “Will never cease.”
… … … … … …
Cease is not the same as change.
I would suggest State Rep. Stephanie Borowicz come to Tucson and spend an hour on my front porch in July and see what she thinks of “dry heat”. Then I would explain the dictionary meanings of “cease” and “change” then tell her that 40 years ago we’d see 3-5 days of 110 degrees. Now it was near a month. that is change. Admittedly that’s weather as opposed to climate but she will not understand the difference.

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He is giving off a “precious” look there, but the chin has always made me suspect Acromegaly.

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I had to laugh at this. My mother was quite petite and when this song was popular, every time it came on the radio, we kids would turn it up as high as possible, just to piss off Mom.

:joy:

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