Discussion: "Ugh, What A Slut!" Thoughts On Slut-Shaming From A 12-Year-Old Feminist

Discussion for article #232807

I have a hard time imagining a 12 year old writing this but good for her!

While I completely understand your hesitancy to jump the misguided young man, all you had to do was nicely ask him why he called the teacher a “slut”. The question would have at least made him think.

You don’t have to fight the battle for all women in 7th grade. And next time you’ll be prepared with a follow-up question.

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Lola, I’m 50 and still don’t have a ready-response-instant-reaction button when people say things like that out of the blue. I’m better than I used to be, but the surprise of discovering hidden attitudes from people who expect that you agree with them still befuddles me.

And it’s not too late to tell him that what he said still bothers you.

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I now have regained some hope for our collective futures.

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the solution is easy here…we start calling men sluts too. i know plenty of sluts, both male and female. gender equality achieved.

The problem with your “solution” is that straight teenage and college age boys are desperate to be “sluts” and would wear the label like a badge of honor.

Only women and gay men can be ‘slut shammed’.

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agreed. a little reverse slut shaming would be achieved by sending the young man a link to this reporting.

I’ve allowed a few “teachable moments” to pass in my lifetime, too. But now you have time to think of a good response, or a way to start a conversation, and next time you’ll be prepared. Trust me, you will have plenty of opportunities in your future!

We live in a society where our very language betrays the deep currents of sexism and judgement. The words we use for a woman who is sexually active are all pejorative, with no equivalent insulting terms for men. When the language itself is so sexist, how can we have a respectful discussion about sexuality and gender? All terms for women have become, over time, more pejorative. We need to fight this trend, but I have no idea how. Teaching men to respect women is an important start. Turning “slut” into a word that is considered a hate word would be a good next step as well.

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so true

For not wanting to use the word, slut, they sure say it a lot. The kinder, gentler replacement for the word slut wouldn’t be any better. The change must be in the perception and obviously that teaching must start earlier than 12.