“Over this past year, the President has lost considerable weight and now tips the scales at a svelte 185 lbs. He is on a path to becoming the first president to live to be over 100 years old.”
He’s hiding something. Obviously. But whether it’s that he’s got Alzheimer’s or just that he’s a fast food inhaling lardass I cannot say.
Who are we to believer? His hippie doctor or the one that prescribes opioids to anyone?
IQ - 392
Weight - 126lbs
Height - 8’ 6"
Cholesterol level - 0.0002
Blood pressure - “the best I have ever seen in my professional career. Probably the best ever in the history of humankind”
Mental acuity - genius level, surpassing both Einstein and the latest Jeopardy winner COMBINED
Estimate for longevity - 283 years
Don’t laugh. Remember, Trump will be writing this report.
Where is the physical taking place, Sea World?
Collusion! Definite collusion!!
He didn’t even notice that his red tie was strung out sideways across his immense belly at the SOTU.
But then Melania was wearing one glove to stand in unity with the VA governor who didn’t get to do his impression of Michael Jackson’s Moon Walk. The entire crime family is in need of Obamacare mental health benefits. But as neither of them really work for a living, they can no longer get them in most Red States.
I’m waiting for Donald to next appoint Tiffany as his physician.
And don’t forget about Donald’s freakishly large hands and penis! I am sure he’ll make Rockin’ Ronny Jackson work that into the report somehow.
Or Denis Miller?
The President has not had an unusual number of TIA’s, given the enormous stress that the Russia hoax is putting on him.
" However, we DID find that our Greatest Specimen Of Human Health In The History Of Mankind Glorious President Donald Trump! does have a minor problem with hemorrhoids, but our Great Leader will have to deal with his affliction, since there are currently no pharmaceutical companies that manufacture bowling ball-sized suppositories." - Ronny Jackson, Psychic Friends Network Member and Opioid Connection
Body may be alive but what is in the cranium is another matter entirely.
About the same height as the Dr. but not width!
The question of height is interesting. He’s quite obviously not 6’3", and possibly not even 6’1". A physician reporting the correct height would be devastating.
I think we may have missed the obvious. He’s one of those reptile-human things, and can only be examined by another, lest the whole conspiracy be revealed. It may also explain the small hands, as he is a descendant of a particularly sad T-Rex.
http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1860871_1860876_1861029,00.html
Trump will be diagnosed with collusion of the arteries.
It will also be discovered, that Trump is not overweight; he is merely six inches too short.
In astonishing news, his doctors announce Trumpf has grown 2 inches since last year:
“A medical miracle! We were afraid we’d have to do the sitdown and long talk about morbid obesity, but now we can put that off until next year.”
Many experts are saying the zero exercise and minimal walking regimen coupled with an absence of so-called “green” vegetables is an understudied health phenomenon, and only a true genius would have thought to live this way.
“The healthiest president EVER! The body of an 18- year old Adonis and the mind of a 5-year old stable genius!”
