Hail to the Elf…
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I think you just drive it into the courtroom. After that, res ipsa loquitur takes over.
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You never listened to “CarTalk” on NPR?
Sad!
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Actually I’m about half-serious—what would the rules be on that? One of the things I genuinely admire in the legal system is the attempt to take the entire messy world of human existence and bring some rationality and fairness to it. It’s a doomed but noble attempt, especially when you’re dealing with a loon like this.
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The way you talk. I always listened. I was listening once when a guy called in and they asked what he was driving, and he said it was a Boeing/Rockwell with a Rocketdyne engine with 11 billion horsepower or something like that, and they were cracking up and whooping and of course they’d had someone patched in from the space shuttle. God, those guys were funnier than 19 out of 20 professional comedians.
P.S. Yo @squirreltown one time Tom and Ray were talking to someone about an old Quantum that nobody knew how to work on and one said “So you can’t find a Quantum mechanic?” THAT was a good pun. Just as an example and working ideal.
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I am so relieved that Jefferson Beauregard Clouseau is on the case…
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That’s some mighty white police work there Jeffey. Mighty. White.
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Well, I can appreciate that. IANAL, but it would seem to me that if the van is his, and he has festooned it with Pro-Trump stickers (been waiting a long time to use festooned…), it would seem to be evidence of a particularly damaging kind. Someone better versed in the law could tell us more.
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I flat out love Car Talk. I swear I heard that joke. 
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That was an absolutely brilliant deduction. Who knew your power of reasoning.
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Once they explain it to Trump he’ll be pissed at Sessions again!
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I know you’re joking, but since you asked… 
Hearsay is defined as (say it with me, fellow lawyers) “an extrajudicial statement offered for the truth of the matter asserted in it.” There are several exceptions to the hearsay rule, but we don’t have to look at them because in this case the vehicular speech is not hearsay. The “statements” are extrajudicial (made outside the context of a judicial proceeding); however, they would not be offered for the truth of the matter asserted in them (i.e., “CNN sucks”). Instead, they would be offered as evidence of the defendant’s motive. Motive is not an element of the offense, but is relevant.
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Jefferson Beauregard Sessions must like euphemisms. He still probably refers to the civil war as the war between the states.
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I don’t know how many people who had zero interest in cars as objects listened to it religiously but I know there was at least one.
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It was one of my favs for years and years.
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No, no, no. It was “the war of Northern aggression.”
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As you wisely surmised I was joking about the hearsay but I honestly wondered what role the van would have, so thanks, it really interests me. Got many lawyer friends.
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Jeff… here’s a hint: He was just following the leader of your party.
It’s not a fucking mystery… open your eyes.
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Got to talk to them on the air one time about my 1988 Merkur Scorpio
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Insert required Casablanca clip of Claude Rains’ famous: “I’m Shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU!” speech.
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