They came here with stars in their eyes
But nobody should be surprised
Their lives are in tatters
‘Cause Trump’s all that matters
And everything Trump touches dies
There are ghostly apparitions flitting through space and time without nary a glance at human affairs with more gravitas than little Marco Rubio.
Of course he’s lame but honestly, at this point, at least he’s fucking saying something. It’s more than 40 other GOP senators are doing.
“I have seen no evidence that those people were a part of an investigation on the campaign,” he said. “If that exists, I would want to know about it. We should all know about it, and that would be wrong and we should do something about it.”
Gee Marco, if it’s right for the FBI to investigate “certain individuals who have a history that we should be suspicious of that predate the presidential campaign,” and if those people who are being investigated “are in the orbit of a major political campaign in America,” then why would it be wrong for that to lead to an investigation of the campaign?
I’ll wait for your critical analysis and profound conclusion.
Note to Marco: No shit, Sherlock.
Ah yes, the Pro-Life mentality.
“What I have seen is evidence that they were investigating individuals with a history of links to Russia that were concerning. And that was appropriate if that’s all that happened.”
Woke Rubio: “The Cuban Americans to whom I pander hate KGB colonels more than they love Republicans.”
(Peers over shoulder at Blue Wave approaching Florida coast.)
“But up to now,” Rubio continued. “What I have seen is evidence that they were investigating individuals with a history of links to Russia that were concerning. And that was appropriate if that’s all that happened.”
That’s a beautiful spine Mario, who are you borrowing it from this time?
Where all kids are created equal but some are more equal than others.
Like a young dog springing up in the mistaken belief you want to take it for a walk, Rubio looks at 2020 and wags hopefully.
Sorry Sparky, we’re going to the vet!
Don’t tell him that until you get him in the car.
CONE OF SHAME - CONE OF SHAME - CONE OF SHAME !
Remember he kept saying “dispel with the fiction” over and over again? And everyone pointed and laughed?
i am marco rub i o i am mar co rub i o i am mar co rub i o marco o rub i o rub i o io io io io io io *explodes*
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 7, 2016
Exactly.
Quick, someone! Grab a dipstick and shove it down Marco’s back, because I think his spine is about two quarts low of Jell-O, just like Lindsey. But give them a day or two. I’m sure they’ll turn back into the Trump-sucking jellyfish they’ve always been.
Marco is probably afraid to go outside because he thinks David Hogg and Emma Gonzalez are going to kick his ass. And if it weren’t for the fact they’d get arrested by the Secret Service, I wish they would, because it would be Nobel Prize-worthy comedy.
Rubio actually made sense today.