Is that the same door that he closed on being speaker?
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Yeah, that’s what he said about the speakership!
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Why do so many people spend so much time fluffing this twerp’s ego?
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Boehner’s payback.
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Ryan doesn’t want to swallow that Republican poison-turd-pill.
You are right. This is just Ryan’s prediction, not a statement of Ryan’s intent. If circumstances were to cause his prediction to change, this statement would in no way stand in the way of his acceptance of the nomination.
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And Atlas wept.
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Paul Ryan Shuts Door On Being The GOP Nominee
Question to Mr./Mrs/ Headline writer: Do you get to slam the door when it has already been slammed on you?
A pattern is starting to emerge.
Sometime around say January 2015, the polls slammed the door shut on Rick Perry’s possibility being the the GOP Noninee, and he celebrated September 11, 2015 by slamming shut again himself and declaring “I step aside knowing our party is in good hands, as long as we listen to the grassroots,” It was some time later before anyone could hear the grassroots blowing in the wind as the sound reverberated.
Around April or so, the people slammed the door shut on Paul Ryan being the GOP Nominee, and on September 21, 2015, he slammed it shut again to "clear the field in this race so that a positive, conservative message can rise to the top of the field,’ which was something that he apparently did not have, at least according to him. And today, he quiety reopened the just enough to slam is shut once more with more force and make more sound, apparently to be sure that every heard that was slamming doors “so that a positive, conservative message can rise to the top of the field.” One can only surmise that he hopes this round of door slamming will in fact cause such a message to appear and rise to the top instead of sinking to the bottom like the others have to date.
By November 4, 2015, America had slammed the door on Jindal being the Nominee to a level well under 1%. On November 17, 2015 Bobby Jindal noticed that the reverberations from Walkers September slamming had died down and that things were quiet, too quiet on the “positive, conservative message” front so he dove in and slammed his own door shut with an added exclamation that "“I’ve come to the realization that this is not my time.” Whether he meant it wasn’t his time to be president or his time to slam a door was never clarified as he hastily left the stage.
Amerca slammed the door on Graham’s more times than it could count, without any apparent effect. On December 21, 2015, reports surfaced that That Lindsey Graham had slammed a door shut and whispered, “I believe we have run a campaign you can be proud of.” At the time, this proud campaign was polling 0.5%. When hunted down in an Irish pub later that day and asked for a comment, a man looking like Graham snarled that the reporter had the wrong person and slammed his drink down on the table far with more noise than the door was reported to have made, casting the reports into question, but he has not been seen near the campaign trail since. The people have since slammed the door on Graham a few more times in an apparent bid to be sure it is shut.
The country quietly closed the door on Parapki being the GOP candidate in early December 2015. When Pataki noticed on December 29, 2015, he slammed every door and window in his campaign office George Pataki, in an apparent effort to distinguish himself somehow in the race, before shouting into the street, “I’m confident we can elect the right person, someone who will bring us together and who understands that politicians – including the President – must be the peoples’ servant.” When a reporter who happened to be nearby doing a story on a cat that can meow in six languages came by in response and asked which Republican candidate met those criteria, Pataki went back through his office and slammed every door, every window and most filing cabinet drawers twice.
On February 1, 2016, Mike Huckabee held press conference from an undisclosed out door location in Arkansas. Apparently realizing that he had no doors to clam, Huckabee instead slammed a gong of some kind, which was heard for miles in the North Little Rock area. The Republican Rules committee held an emergency meeting and concluded that Huckabee did not count because no one realized that he was in the race to begin with, and it was deemed to late for him to clam the door on his 2008 campaign. He also was found in violation because the American people had never been given chance to slam the door themselves. However since he was ruled never to have been in the race in the first place, it was rule a no-harm-no-foul violation.
On February 3, 2016, Rand Paul issues a puzzling statement that he was quitting but “the fight is far from over.” To emphasize this nonpoint, Paul seized the nob to his office door and gave it a rank, but it became stuck, and he could not open it. He threw his shoulder into the door, which might have made some kind slamming sound, but if so, it would not heard over a very clear, “Ow!” Fortunately the Rule committee was still in session on the Huckabee slam, and it disqualified Paul’s slam during a brief recess. For his part, Paul lamented the degree to which door slamming had become over-regulated and called for the return of door slamming liberty.
America slammed the door on Santotrum being the GOP candidate early and often, but Santorum continued to insist that the sounds were “God’s little war drums.” Within minutes of Paul’s last demand, Rick Santorum abruptly slammed the very large and very heavy door to his own office and called it quits too. Santorum by far has the most impressive slam thus far, after which he lamented, “Just not our year.” When it was pointed out that he has said the same thing thing every year for well over a decade, Santrum adjusted his tie, and said, “Thank you. Just not our decade.”
New Jersey slammed the door on Chris Christie being the GOP nominee before he even announced his run. Christie remained unaware of this fact until he arrived at his campaign office on February 10 to find workers removing the office equipment, and, sadly the doors. Left without a door slam, Christ kicked a garbage can from one end of the office to the other, which was deemed to be an adequate substitute for a door slam in a conference call meeting of the Rules Committee. However, the Committee also proposed a new rule under which it would not longer be responsible for evaluating door slams.
Trump slammed the door on Fiorina being the GOP candidate long before the rest of the country because he could not picture dating her even if she was his daughter. The remaining candidates slammed the door on her being the GOP candidate with frightening regularity, but those slams were often accompanied by references to “Hillary” or “the witch.” The first were not counted because the the so-called Clinton contamination, and the second are questioned because Fiorina is not widely considered to be a witch, but instead a homonym of witch, while Clinton is widely regarded as a genuine witch. A compromise to count those slams against both seems to be gaining momentum even though Clinton is not seeking the GOP nomination. On February 10, 2016, Fiorina slammed the door on being the GOP candidate with a two handed effort unlike that of the other candidates. She slammed with such force that the doorframe separated from the wall, making her the unofficial slam champ pending a decision on the with slams. While performing the double-fisted slam, Fiorina still managed to say, “Election after election, the same empty promises are made, and the same poll-tested stump speeches are given, but nothing changes.” Whether she was complaining or stating plans for a future bid was not immediately clear.
Jeb Bush appears to have set the all time record for doors slammed on being the GOP nominee early in the race, and them just padded his lead. He was the only candidate, though, who really attracted any real international slams, and those count only 3/5ths each under longstanding rules. His slam on February 20, 2016 was arguable the most graceful and eloquent, but he had the benefit of guidance from his father on perfecting the dignified slam and from his brother, former President George Bush, on slamming doors without knowing why. In the end he was philosophical, saying “The people of Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina have spoken, and I really respect their decision,” but he did later deny adding, “I quite frankly I agree.” His philosophical set off an intellectual firestorm across conservative social media asking, "if a candidate slams a door and no one cares, does it count?
There is no word yet on any door slamming by Donald Trump, although people in his camp insist that he can slam with the best of them. Rumors circulating that Trump has problems opening or slamming doors because of small finger syndrome have been hotly contested by Trump’s spokesman, and Trump himself has threatened to sue door hardware manufacturers for making nobs larger than necessary. Trump supporters have rallied to his aid with a Facebook movement to “Slam the Sanders Boors, not Doors.”