It’s like they tried to clone Waylon Jennings but they could not get a good DNA sample so they filled in the gaps with Starship, candidates that didn’t make the cut for Back Street Boys, an Elvis impersonator, and a opossum.
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Yeah the funny thing is if he had lived during the time of the real “rebels” and assuming he did not develop bone spurs when it was time to sign up, he probably would have been court martialed and shot by almost any of the Confederate leaders he admires and none would think it much loss. As to cowboys, I think he would probably fall off his horse tangled in his own lasso. He’s the guy you send out to look for strays and hope he isn’t able to find his way back to the cattle train.
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Here they are singing along…
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I know, or have encountered, I should say, a local wannabe like that. He works various regular jobs and then strives, by now in his early forties, to be a “personality” that way. Some of it is in competitive eating, or restaurant reviewing, in a crude, silly fashion, or emceeing more competitive eating in tails and Juggalo-style face paint or who the fuck knows what. He’s just an attention-starved loudmouth, really, with no talents that could achieve enough critical mass to allow even a local following that would say he’s good at __________. The advent of the online world was a kind of Gold Rush for people like that.
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mmmm…we could add a couple of Hive commentors to that list…
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You really can’t even make this stuff up any more. He’s literally saying how people should be able to disagree without being disagreeable and then name calling in the next breath. JFC this man is completely lacking in self-awareness.
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and not just Faux Newz–most of the current administration, actually.
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Filed under : Things I will never understand so really, they just shouldn’t be.
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decorum!
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I think the real problem is there’s nothing there to understand. It’s set up like a demonstration of skill, but there’s no skill involved, unless not puking is a skill.
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Yeah, but this one cracks me up (I think he’s a famous competitive eater actually):
I’m still trying to figure out how you avoid debilitating brain freeze for this one.
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Points for going to In&Out, but a drug habit would be a better use of his time.
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Phhhhttt. A real competitive eater would realize you have to do the whole thing in one go or nobody’s impressed. Even in the world of competitive eating, there are standards.
ETA for God’s sake I suppose I should add for our younger and more impressionable readers that this can be dangerous and you shouldn’t do it because you can die and stuff. If that doesn’t sway you, be aware that any woman you’d want to impress will think it’s stupid.
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A really simple life-guide for doing dangerous things - Would I still do this if there were no video? If the answer is no, move on.
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Tell you what, I know how you feel about competitive eating because I saw that show “Jackass” once years ago and was all WTF. It was incomprehensible. And not because it’s stupid; I understand the appeal of stupid. It just made no sense at all. It was like the TV was the monolith in 2001 and I was the hominids. I came pretty close to doing backflips and screeching at the incomprehensibility of it.
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So wait, Kid Schlock complains about the division in the country and wanting to disagree with people but still be able to hang with them, then calls Joy Behar a bitch? Somehow that’s not being loving and realizing we are all Americans. His apology was also hallow considering he apologized for the words not the sentiment. That means he was just appeasing the idiots at Fox.
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OK. I can easily fix it:
Jackass Acts Like Jackass.
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That would be talentless to the second or third power.
How about shorten it down to just “FoxHoles”.
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Oh, for sure. It still boggles my mind that our government is currently bloated with schemers, liars, ne’er-do-wells and active saboteurs. It’s been like watching roaches pour forth from a cracked foundation. And just as gross.
And yes, the line between our government and Faux Newz becomes more blurry by the day.
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