I tried a different approach:
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All things considered, I think Iād probably go with this one:
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Heās obviously a terrible person, but itās too bad he got shot, I suppose. Itās tempting to laugh at the painful consequences of his poor judgment, but it feels wrong somehow - heās probably too stupid to have known better, and so ashamed of his own stupidity that he took refuge in textbook racism. Itās kind of sad.
On the bright side, thereās a chance he will no longer have the ability to reproduce, so I guess thatās something we can be happy about ā¦ silver linings, etc.
For appropriate (if symbolic) images, just Google āstock photo broken rulerā.
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You are better than I. I do not feel sorry for him one bit.
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OnlineMatinee:
āI Just F^cking Shot Myselfā (Based on A True Story)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paxk_LPmdMI
OnlineSequel:
āI Just Shot My Junkā (And blames A Black Guy; also based on A True Story)
Coming Soon To YouTube!
jw1
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A racist young man from Dakota
Whose brain weighed not half one iota
Was buying a heater
But blew off his peter
And now his schlongās lacking its quota.
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+10. and + another 10 for correct rhythm (the hardest part of getting a limerick right)
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Thanks, jprfrog!
My dad taught me to consider any gun to be loaded until and unless I absolutely knew otherwise. Apparently this felon assumed incorrectly.And what was he doing trying to buy a gun:
A: even though heās a convicted felon
B: at 1:30 AM? (I did a little research on this story).
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Best thing that guy did was PUT THE GUN DOWN!!
Now what was he doing standing so close to his ātargetā? I guess he didnāt wanna miss.
I just read the story and then your brilliant limerick to my target-shooting enthusiast wife, and sheās laughing her butt off as I type this.
Mr. Watson, I know youāre a racist as well as stupid, but did it occur to you that Sioux Falls is 4.2% black? Look around you. Iāve been there, I know what youāll see: white folks. Lots of them. Youāre blaming folks who are barely there. The cops may be racists and not Rhodes scholars, but theyāre not blind or utterly dumb. Iām sure theyād like to crack some black skulls, but they canāt find them. So even they didnāt believe you.
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A racist young man from Sioux Falls
Has just shot himself in the balls
'Cuz he canāt make his dick grow
Heāll just blame a Negro
'Til the police get fed up with fake calls
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ItĀ“s obvious even to idiots.
The jokes write themselves.
Reminds me of a juror story from my career years ago. This juror I knew voted along with most to acquit a black man charged with armed robbery. All the witnesses described a āblack man well over 6 feet tallā. The defendant was 5ā 4 at best. The defendantās only crime appeared to be he was in the area while black. Also the clerk positively IDed the defendant as the guy though the robber was wearing a mask. During juror deliberations one juror agreed there was reasonable doubt, but said they should convict him anyway because as a black man āhe must have committed other crimes for which he was not caught.ā The juror I knew cried thinking other black men must be sitting in jail because asshole jurors like the one described have such fucked up thinking.
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Heās definitely another Darwin Award winner!
This news item was destined for limericks.
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Well Iām pretty sure it did shoot straightā¦